Krispy Kreme Doughnuts are so good that...

I kinda sound like I'm making a "your momma is sooo fat that" joke, but I'm not so get back down in your seat son.

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts are so good that when I applied all my wonderful mathematical tools and computer algorithms skills I have acquired up til this point in my life, I arrived at the conclusion that it was theoretically impossible to make them any better.

Well, the good folks over at Krispy Kreme and Gateway Grizzlies* sure showed me. Now I want one, and by golly I will have one. Someday.

*My new favorite minor league baseball team. Represent South Illinois! REPRESENT! Yeah, holler. Durrrty south if ya know what I'm talkin about.

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Lack of sleep somehow makes your long term memory better. Abundance of sleep is needed for ingraining new things into memory.

I am definitely putting both statements to test by doing the lack of sleep thing. Hand me a labcoat, some wicked goggles and you can go 'head and call me a modern day scientist.

This sucks more than a kid working on a giant lollipop*.

*Is it spelled lollipop or lollypop? Maybe I'll experiment on that next. Take some random surveys. Correlate factors and all that fun statistical analysis st..zzzzz

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They say they never really miss you until you dead or you gone, so on that note, I'm leaving after this song.

Except I just realized that the song I listened to just won itself an Oscar. Yes, please cue up the inspirational orchestral movement and maybe the beautiful scenary in the background that accompanies such a majestic song. All I need now is a relaxing afternoon, a nice backyard, a stick to throw at random kids playing in adjacent backyards thus ruining my picture perfect (pun always intended) afternoon, and me and my girlfriend (echo-me and my girlfriend)*.

Right? Left Wrong.

Three 6 Mafia took home the Oscar for their musical masterpiece** "It's Hard Out There For A Pimp". I'm glad somebody finally took the time to write a song about Pimpin'. It's important issues like Pimpin' that need to be addressed in society today.*** You KNOW we have enough music out there about social injustice or overcoming adversity.

I think I'm gonna go call up my buddy Ludacris and ask him to do a song about his Pimpin' exploits all over the world . Maybe Jay will help me out and drop a song about how he's such a Big Pimp. Or maybe I'll get on it, and write a song about pimp...les. Cuz I'm an expert, as my scarred face will attest to.

Thank you very much Three 6 Mafia. You know what this opens up the door for; Kanye West wanting an Oscar for his not-yet-made Mission Impossible Three theme. I kinda wished I watched the performance of the song at the Oscars though, because you know, this wasn't your average hip-hop crowd they were trying to cater to. These were uptight old folks (except for you Jamie Foxx except for you) who probably wouldn't take nicely to about 50% of them lyrics.

On a very far sided note, I'm glad Crash took home that Golden Statue Man. Not because of the horrible "Brokeback Mountain is now king of the Oscar hill" pun I would've quipped here on my blog, but because I was brought up in a household where you say NO to gay cowboys. That's just me.

Three 6 Mafia. Now you know. Mostly.

*How many Jay-Z lyric allusions can I throw into one post? I may explore this someday.
**Sarcasm starting to kick in, tryin real hard to supress it...
***No can-do, sarcasm has taken me over

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1. The guest speaker, Domenic Ruso, was this amazing Italian dude. On the very first day, someone from our CCF group decided to go ask him if he knew where the water was. I guess it wasn't all bad to assume he worked there because he wasn't asian. Oh wait, is that borderline racist?!*

2. The amazing guest speaker made two specific references to two things I thought nobody amazing in the world, other than me, would have read up on beforehand. Exercise links with caution because these aren't warm and fuzzy Christian references.
- Post Secret, the blog version
- a story on cnn.com (because he also surfs the web for weird news stories**) about a genious parrot

3. The guest speaker, did I mention how amazing he was, is a drummer. So not only did he leave me with a lot of thoughts pertaining to the spiritual side of life, but also what I can do become a better drummer. Now that's application.

4. FREE COFFEE. No further discussion needed.

5. All the rest (deep breath) - JamminUntilFourAM SnowFun WarmFuzzyFun RandomJokeFun WatchinPranksFun NoSleep FunCatchinUpWithPeeps** LaughterAboutAnything Convictions NewLessons OldLessons Last Winter Retreat With The Majority Of The People I Really Know and Love?***

*Yes, yes it is. And snob, very snob. And totally awesome.
**But probably not to loserishly post with annotated observations on his blog.
***I never said peeps before. I will never say it again.
****OOH I said "Love". No. This asterisk was for the tear rolling down my face as I ponder this possibility.

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Everyweek in Spanish Learning Lab, yes I have a lab section for the bird Spanish course I am taking, the prof requires four students to come up for show and tell.

As if Spanish wasn't gr.2ish enough already with the constant barrage of "now repeat after me class!"...'s, now we're gonna bring in our little items and describe their most basic characteristics. And I'm talkin BASICS here. Like what it is, what color it is and whether it is big or small, whether it makes you cry or smile, things that I could really care less about.

But it's fine by me (please see: easy marks). Last week a bunch of girls presented, and they brought in anything from meaningful pictures to souvenirs from places they visited to things that reminded them about home. You know, things that warm your heart up faster than chicken-soup-for-the-soul.

Today, two guys, whom I will assume to be frosh that just turned 19 and are now legal, brought in alcoholic beverages to present to the class.

First off, who brings alcoholic beverages to school for show-and-tell? That to me is the equivalent of entering a sauna with a bucket of ice hoping to make giant ice castles. Or like, bringing a knife to a gun-fight. It just ain't right.

School and alcohol should remain as separate as Jennifer and Brad. Unless you're using alcohol to make a boring class seem more lively*. Of which I would know nothing about.

And then to top it all off, one of the bottles was EMPTY. So here was this guy, presenting his alcoholic beverage, and by presenting I mean slurring all his words together to form one very long incoherant sentence IN SPANISH (which certainly doesn't help) while he's all red-faced** and giggly***.

It was a good way to end off a long week of classes. For me, not so much for the dude presenting.

*Oh...Maybe that's what he was doing.
**Okay, he wasn't red-faced.
***He definitely was slightly giggly.

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I had a good time, as short as it seemed to last. But I will shed no tears. In fact, there is to be celebrating. Because today, good ladies and sirs, is the last day of Black History Month.

stares so blank that an empty set would be jealous

You mean you didn't know? Then you better call somebody. And I hear if you wanted to call the Hong Kong police, simply fly to Hong Kong and dial 9, 9, 9. I'm just so full of useful* information like that.

Really I've got nowhere to go with this post. Except to the end. But I'm gonna take my sweet time getting there.

In the spirit of Black History Month, I decided to check out what I thought was the most credible source for "Black History" available to me on TV. BET. That's before I realized that Cogeco does not give me BET. Seriously, I have every single channel up to and including 48, and every channel after and including 50.

In conclusion, I hate Cogeco.

camera pans to the judges

Randy: Dog, I just wasn't feelin it today, dog, dog it was a little pitchy, and slightly all over the place. Defeinitely not, dog, your best. Dog. Woof.
Paula: Buttug, you're such a wonderful human being and even though this post was obviously forced, you still managed to display your great flair and awesomeness. I would definitely consider you as one of the greatest bloggers of all time. I think I love you.
Simon: I think this is it for you here. Honestly, if this wasn't your last post, I'll be very surprised. It was just awful, and at this point of the competition you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Donald Trump**: Listen to me. This is what you're gonna do. I agree with all three, and you are gonna go back and think about what you just did. I'm Donald Trump. I don't actually say anything. I just say what you say, but more definitively.

*Useful if you're in HongKong. All about perspective.
**He somehow managed to weasel his way onto THIS SHOW and even got to "advise" the contestants and then steal the spotlight at the end.

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This is for You Mel, the one who insists on keeping this picture of "me" on the internet.

Hypothesis:

Situation Numero (I'm so cultured with my new-found ability to hablar* in Spanish) Uno - Buttug driving beside a cop car, nearing a traffic light which has already turned yellow. Cop car decides not to go through intersection. Buttug does, but faces the dilemma of either running a red, or increasing speed past the limit to make it through yellow.
Compound that to the fact Buttug decides to take his eyes off the road and hands off the steering wheel to flip a coin, with heads being SPEED UP and tails being RUN THE RED, and you have yourself one sour pickle of a problem.

Situation Numero = (thats two in Chinese!)** - At the CoachCanada ticket booth. Buttug calmly purchases a ticket, which comes with the receipt attached one of those fun "already creased and indented rip lines". Buttug holds the receipt end with one hand, and the actual ticket end with the other. Then he displays his great body musculature with a grandiose display of strength by ripping apart the two sides perfectly down the middle.
He then decides to check the ticket to make sure everything is in order when he reads "If receipt is detached, ticket is void".


*Am I becoming too much of a language snob if I start switching from English to Spanish in the MIDDLE of a sentence!? Hablar means "to speak" so that whole sentence up there doesn't actually make sense. Oh well, I'm a snob, I stick my nose up to not-making-sense.
**I'm out of control. Somebody stop me.
***I know there was no third star, but is it confusing that within one post, I refer to myself both in the first and third person? Cuz I was thoroughly confused trying to edit this post. But it may be the fact that I'm an utter idiot that is slowly my editting down. Let me know either way.

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