It wasn't logical to market the return of Jay-Z as the "Saviour of Hip Hop" with his album "Kingdom Come", only to come out the month after with Nas' "Hip Hop Is Dead". Sure the titles provide nice contrast, with with a certain Biblical flavor (FLAV). Although that's always been evident in their career's (God emcee, J-Hova (Jehova), God's son etc), and probably blasphemous considering the people we're talking about.

I'm not going to bother writing up reviews for these two albums because the way I see it, both these dudes are returning to the game just like one of us would return to, say, Zelda, after you've beaten it once over, just to finish off all the little side quests, go for a victory lap on your little horse, and shoot some arrows. Rack up some extra points, if you will.

While there's plenty of hate flying at both Nas and Jay this Christmas (ironic because tis season for love, hugging babies, and baby Jesus), I, for one, will have both these albums on replay going straight through to the new year.

        

Read More...

Summary only...

I don't have the stomach to write a full post tonight, but I'll let this guy cap an end to this week. Take us out good sir:

Read More...

Summary only...

The time has come where a variety of artists decide to put out an album consisting of their renditions of such Christmas classics as "O Holy Night", "Silent Night", and "Jingle Bells". And by now, the very beginning of December, most of you are understandably sick of it.

In fact, I can quote someone as saying "I hate Christmas music".

For better or for worse, Christmas albums will really only be played in and around Christmas time (thanks Captain Obvious), and that does not offer enough pressure to deliver quality, innovative music. And if Heidi Klum, or Clay Aiken, can release a Christmas album, then why shouldn't everyone else? Even I think I can record random noises and make a better Christmas album than Heidi Klum, or Clay Aiken, could ever release.

With that all being said, because I opened up this CD that does not belong to me and popped it in my computer, I promised I would review it. Luckily, snow is scheduled to glaze Toronto tomorrow, so hopefully this offering from Sarah McLaughlin Mclock, AHEM, McLachlan, will ring in the season festively. Although I wonder if the owner of the album will be offended if I smash this to pieces with my fierce words. This won't be the first time I risk a friendship over music.



Hey Sarah? If this really is a Christmas album, and especially with the album titled "Wintersong", instead of prancing around in whatever that skimpy outfit you got on there, you think you could maybe throw on a parka and get some snow machine action happening? I mean, unless you were going for an oxymoronic album cover. And, some skiers in the background would be a nice touch.

Oh, and if you could change your last name to something easier to spell?

Track One - Happy Xmas (War is Over)
Unless you're going to say "Xmas" in your song, I'd consider substituting "Christmas" for "Xmas" in the title. And isn't it "MERRY Christmas"?

I'm already confused. And I STILL can't spell her last name. Otherwise, this track is kinda ho-hum for me. Of course, she has the children's choir in the background, which is actually a nice touch. Remember for children's Sunday school, you'd always have to sing in front of all the parents for the annual Christmas show? Yeah, good times.

Track Two - What Child Is This
Much darker than the first song, but really, that's how the song should be done. I wonder when Sarah gets to exercise her vocal chords, because she sounds like she's just whispering this song.

Track Three - River
"I wish I had a river so I could skate away". According to your album cover, your river wouldn't be frozen and could quite possibly drown you.

Near the end of the song, there's a little piano riff that resembles "Jingle Bells" in a minor key. That's the only thing notable about this movement here.

Track Four - Wintersong
Title track, better hit this one hard Sarah! C'mon!

Mellow, quiet, almost jazzy but not quite there, I guess this is the theme of the entire album.

Track Five - I'll Be Home For Christmas
I've always liked this song, so it'd be very hard for her to ruin this for me. And she just made a very fantastic entry into this song. See, I've adjusted my standards to realize that she is of the softer (no going up high and sustaining powerfully) singing ilk, and plus I'm imagining what a Clay Aiken Christmas album would sound like, and my perspective switches quickly.

Track Six - O Little Town of Bethlehem
This song on the other hand, I don't particularly like unless I'm singing it myself. Er, there seems to be a banjo, or a banjo-sounding guitar. Something Sufjan Stevens would try I'd imagine.

Track Not On This Album - Ice Cream
Sorry, I think every album should be required to contain a track talking about food, preferably pancakes, but Ice Cream is not a bad replacement.

Isn't this track the one of the most inspired pieces of work ever? First of all, there aren't many things better than chocolate, but better than both chocolate and ice cream? This "love" thing sure is something I'd like to experience one day (I KID).

So she really can go up higher and she really does have those power female vocal chords which I love oh so much. She reaches for them at the end of this track. Please please PLEASE have some of that on this rest of the Christmas album. Back to that we go.

Track I Lost Count, Oh, Seven - The First Noel/Mary Mary
A medley? Of Christmas songs? Exciting times.

This one sounds Far Eastern, rather mystical. Some drums have now kicked in that, leading me to conjure up pictures of Disney's Lion King rather than a frosty Winter Wonderland. But it's so much of a different sound that it really provides some contrast for the rest of the album.

Simba just totally owned Scar in my imagination.

Track Eight - Silent Night
Back to the "relaxation music".

That's IT! I can totally hear this album being played as in a Yoga class, or while I attempt to sit in a Zen Lotus position, which I fail miserably at. I'm just not flexible that way. And, no, I cannot bend over and touch my toes.

Track Nine - Song For A Winter's Night
I actually get a really odd sensation down the back of my leg when attempting to touch my toes. It has led me to never try it again.

Track Ten - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Another song that cannot be ruined for me, and while this track doesn't completely blow me out of the water, I can still lean with it, rock with it, stop with it.

And finally, a trumpet gets some time to shine. Should've had more trumpet. And more cowbell.

Track Eleven - In The Bleak Mid-Winter
I feel like it is already the bleak mid-winter-that-is-not-here-yet. Because in a few weeks, I'll be down south (not deep durrty South) in Michigan. And everything leading up to that feels bleak (just like Memphis' career prospects LOL).

Track Twelve - Christmas Time Is Here
Featuring Diana Krall? Intriguing. I remember when I first peeped the Charlie Brown Christmas version of this song and was immediately brought back to my childhood and I think I've liked this lounge-y, thought-provoking, imagery-plentiful song.

Classy way to end an album. Would've been better if Christmas time were actually here, but that's me picking at insignificant things.

Additional Thoughts
Just another seasonal offering. If you're a fan of Sarah McLachlan, you'll like it. If not, then it'll blend in with most other stuff on the radio/malls/elevators these days.

She needs to change her last name.

Read More...

Summary only...

I don't intend to fully review another album tonight. As a matter of fact, my mind is currently occupied with the migration issues that have sprung up as I attempt to shuffle blog templates, all in the name of making your reading experience more enjoyable.

With that said, I've taken flak in the past for having too lengthy a post, or for being to superfluous. If anything, I am superbulous (super + fabulous), but in the open forum that is the Internets, people will have their say about everything. And because I dish out my fair of criticisms, I better be able to take it. And the solution that should satisfy everybody is...

...amazing.

So if you choose to read lengthy posts, that option is still available. And if you choose to skip over posts I have deemed lengthy so it will include the "Read More" button, then go ahead. The fact that you were even on my page increases the hit counter, I don't actually need everybody to read everything I write!

So back to the task at hand. I will now play Gwen in the background while proceeding with coding issues. It'll be interesting to see how this turns out.

Track One - Wind It Up
The Sound of Music inspired single. Basically it's ridiculous.

Track Two - The Sweet Escape
Speaking of the Sound of Music, I always get that movie mixed up with Mary Poppins. Isn't that weird? I mean, one movie's about, well, falling in love, and the other is about chim chimery's and a spoon so full of sugar that it's making my mouth water.

This track sounds like something S-Club 7 released a long time ago. And according to the title, Akon is supposedly featured, but it's the end of the track and I haven't heard him at all. It's for the better.

Track Three - Orange County Girl
Because you know, Akon is just another one of the mass produced R&B singers that so happens to be "hot" right now (no brokeback). I just haven't found the factory where they churn these guys out quite yet.

Give me break, I haven't even found Waldo yet, and Carmen Sandiego keeps country hopping.

Track Four - Early Winter
No Gwen, in fact, it's verging on December and I haven't seen much snow yet. I will not acknowledge the winter season until snow hits me square between the eyes.

Track Five - Now That You Got It
Why does my text spacing change after I link to an image/video? What the heck blogger? I'll work-around it by using the blogger insert image function.

Track Six - 4 In The Morning
Didn't Our Lady Peace do a song titled "4AM"? I hope I'm not making this up. And I know Matchbox 20 did that "3AM" song. Is this going to be a fad? Are we going to have tracks titled "2:46", and eerily spans 2 minutes and 46 seconds?

Track Seven - Yummy
I hope she talks about pancakes. Oh please, talk about pancakes! Oh, she's talking about herself and how she's delicious. Disappointment.

The Neptunes must be behind this because it sounds like track numero one-oh. Yup, there's Pharrell with his "superb" flow. Haha, she even says "wind it up"! You know what this is?

SYNERGY.

Four minutes into this track, it gets creepy, and the instrumental section comprises of sounds that I can only describe as factory-ish. I'm making headway into this R&B singer manufacturer investigation can't you see?

Track Eight - Fluorescent
Of course, there had to be a scheduled blogger outtage just as I was making some progress. I guess my changes will have to wait another day, along with this post, which I will now continue writing in Notepad, and post it tomorrow morning as if the outtage never occured. What to do now, what to do.

Hello, fantasy sports.

Track Nine - Breakin' Up
This song can either be about being dumped, or, bad cell phone reception.

Remeber that BackStreetBoys track? "MY BATTERY IS LOW! GOTTA GO!" Good times.

What do you know! She said "batteries getting low"!

This song is so good with the double entendres. This has the looks of an instant classic.

Track Ten - Don't Get It Twisted
How did the New York Knicks beat the Cleveland Cavaliers Lebron James? Oh, I hope David Lee lit it up...10-5-stl-blk, not bad not bad. Isn't David Lee such an odd name for a Caucasian? Maybe it's just me, possibly because I've known one or two David Lee's in my lifetime (HOV!)

Track Eleven - U Started It
Gwen, "U" is spelled "WHY-OH-YOU". Oh, I should probably mention that the last track had this for a hook, "This is the most craziest sh*t ever".

Just curious Gwen, Would you classify that sh*t as...

...bananas?

Track Twelve - Wonderful Life
Find it weird that I'm talking about sports in the context of this post? Rhetorical question really, because I'm about to continue.

I hope Vince Carter comes back to the Toronto Raptors. Then I can go to games and boo my face out, even if he leads the Raps back into the playoffs. I remember doing that for Tracy McGrady, although he was on the Magic, so I don't know how weird it'd be to boo a player on the team you're cheering for night in, night out. I'm still undecided.

Track Bonus - Candyland
Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew? Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two...
The candyman, the candyman can!

I don't know what this song is about, nor do I know if it will actually be included with this album.

Oh wait, she does say "this sh*t is f***ing bananas". Bringing it all back together into one neat little package. Well done.

Additional Thoughts: Very enjoyable album, time seemed to fly as I listened to this very cohesive album that is dance-enducing and very upbeat all the way through, even in the darker movements.

Gwen is probably the only individual that not only gets away with this stuff, but makes it sound good. I would say that Ms.Stefani is the leader in her field (female pop vocalists), with the most recent rip-offs including Fergie-Ferg and Nelly Furtado. She ascends to a whole other level with this offering, which, sadly, she has mentioned will be her last solo album.

Read More...

Summary only...

I know it seemed unusual that I would subject myself to such a wretched choice of music yesterday night, but I did it knowing that tonight, my ears would be healed, and my soul would waltz with the melodies and harmonics of the fantastic Chantal Kreviazuk.

Raine Maida, the lead singer for Our Lady Peace back in the day, opened up his wife's concert, and while his lyrics show his deeper and dark side, with politics and social injustice as themes, replacing, uhm, whatever it was OLP sang about, his voice was as captivating as I remembered it to be.

Going into the night, I actually didn't realize how many hit songs Chantal had, until she slowly started churning them out, and I strangely knew a ton of the lyrics. Sadly, a sing-along never broke out amongst the Markham Theater audience, but that didn't stop her from bringing down the house with her sometimes grandiose (almost operatic), mostly catchy, and always intimate style.

Early on in the show, she requested some people move up to fill up some empty seats in the second row, which of course thrilled the heck out of the lucky few that upgraded their seats. A little later on, everything felt as it should when she politely asked the audience to get up on their feet, as I'm a little used to being asked to stand for worship services.

I actually didn't get any pictures, so I'm going to leave that one up there and pretend I did. It's my memories and no one has to know. Even if her hair is now a rich dark brown.

And I still can't get over how ridiculously talented the rest of the musicians on stage were. The cellist and the violinist doubled QUADRUPLED as guitar players, flute players, and backup vocalists. And of course, Raine came back out to play the bass a little bit because he probably got bored backstage.

I have a feeling that I'll be singing under my breath tomorrow. And that I'll soon own all of Chantal Kreviazuk's albums. And that it won't hold a candle to the show she put on tonight. Live music will forever sound better than recordings.

Read More...

Summary only...

You don't have to look very far to find conflict in this world. From the very real conflicts such as the debacle in Iraq, to the petty conflicts where friends intelligently debate who between them should rightfully claim ownership of the louder speaking voice, to the fictional biting-social-commentary conflicts supposedly portrayed in cutting-edge television shows and movies, to the trivial conflicts when one is deciding whether or not to hit the snooze button for the fifth time that morning. Conflict is one crop us humans will never run out of until His Kingdom Comes (no Hov).

Well wouldn't you look at that. This post is sounding promising. And there's much bigger in the issues in the world, I know...

...but I first have to take care of the world I know.

Similar to Star Wars, in music, there is a dark side, and there is a good side. Subjectively speaking of course, but that is implied, given that firstly, this is the Internets, and secondly, if I refer to myself as the most highly aawesome Buttug McOysty, it can be inferred that I am openly opinionated. Of course, I also willingly flip sides, and do so very frequently. Luckily for me, this won't be much of a problem for the next few posts because there happens to be another force, neither good or bad, neither jedi or dark, neither gravitational or centrifugal, that is governing the recent musical offerings by your favorite artists (favorite artists to hate included)...

...the force of central tendency.

For those less mathematically, statistically, scientifically and computationally inclined, that was just an abnormal way of "average".

And over the next little while, I hope to delve into samplings of the current music industry. After all, I started this blog business posting lyrics, and any of my posts of substantial length will no doubt include some musical reference(s) that few will catch (my very own blog easter eggs), so this is going back to the basics (no Genie in a Bottle) for me.

Stay tuned, pun (haha), for more.

Read More...

Summary only...