This is my very first post as a certified University graduate. I can no longer claim to be a nerd computer science student. Nor do I have to put up a front of being a nerd computer science student anymore. What are the expectations heaped upon a nerd computer science student that I no longer have to live up to? I thought you'd never ask.

A nerd computer science student will be able to fix your computer ad infinitum.

A corollary to this rule is that a nerd computer science student knows what ad infinitum (look it up, scholar) means. However, he or she may not always use it in the correct context (possibly see above, even I don't know for sure).

"Buttug McOysty, my computer is really slow, is there anything you can do about it?"

"Buttug The Great McOysty, ", why thank you, "I spilled a can of Coke on my keyboard, and then tried to use a whole bottle of water to clean it up, can you help me?"

(no)

"B McDiddy, my dog ate my computer. Can you please perform complex dog surgery to excise my computer completely intact so I can check my email?"

"Look, four-eyes, my laptop is making this whirring noise, followed by a honking noise that vaguely resembles that of a Canadian goose. Could you recommend the equivalent of a gun silencer for my laptop?"

(but I don't even work here at the Best Buy...go ask that guy with the vest on...)

No longer must I listen to stories of inhumanly treated computers. Now, the only thing I'm a major in (and a hearty salute to Major In) is cleaning up after myself.

Thanks to my education, I can now understand and appreciate nerd comics. And for that, I thank you, Queens University School of Computing.

Don't get me wrong, I'll still help you with your computer problems. And yes, I'll still mock your computer problems in an exponentially decaying fashion.

However, my framed diploma demands that I be compensated for any "help" I provide. It also demands amazement (yes we can Barack, but we don't necessarily believe it all the time). Amazing cupcakes would suffice. Thank you in advance.