I had a good time, as short as it seemed to last. But I will shed no tears. In fact, there is to be celebrating. Because today, good ladies and sirs, is the last day of Black History Month.

stares so blank that an empty set would be jealous

You mean you didn't know? Then you better call somebody. And I hear if you wanted to call the Hong Kong police, simply fly to Hong Kong and dial 9, 9, 9. I'm just so full of useful* information like that.

Really I've got nowhere to go with this post. Except to the end. But I'm gonna take my sweet time getting there.

In the spirit of Black History Month, I decided to check out what I thought was the most credible source for "Black History" available to me on TV. BET. That's before I realized that Cogeco does not give me BET. Seriously, I have every single channel up to and including 48, and every channel after and including 50.

In conclusion, I hate Cogeco.

camera pans to the judges

Randy: Dog, I just wasn't feelin it today, dog, dog it was a little pitchy, and slightly all over the place. Defeinitely not, dog, your best. Dog. Woof.
Paula: Buttug, you're such a wonderful human being and even though this post was obviously forced, you still managed to display your great flair and awesomeness. I would definitely consider you as one of the greatest bloggers of all time. I think I love you.
Simon: I think this is it for you here. Honestly, if this wasn't your last post, I'll be very surprised. It was just awful, and at this point of the competition you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Donald Trump**: Listen to me. This is what you're gonna do. I agree with all three, and you are gonna go back and think about what you just did. I'm Donald Trump. I don't actually say anything. I just say what you say, but more definitively.

*Useful if you're in HongKong. All about perspective.
**He somehow managed to weasel his way onto THIS SHOW and even got to "advise" the contestants and then steal the spotlight at the end.

Read More...

Summary only...

This is for You Mel, the one who insists on keeping this picture of "me" on the internet.

Hypothesis:

Situation Numero (I'm so cultured with my new-found ability to hablar* in Spanish) Uno - Buttug driving beside a cop car, nearing a traffic light which has already turned yellow. Cop car decides not to go through intersection. Buttug does, but faces the dilemma of either running a red, or increasing speed past the limit to make it through yellow.
Compound that to the fact Buttug decides to take his eyes off the road and hands off the steering wheel to flip a coin, with heads being SPEED UP and tails being RUN THE RED, and you have yourself one sour pickle of a problem.

Situation Numero = (thats two in Chinese!)** - At the CoachCanada ticket booth. Buttug calmly purchases a ticket, which comes with the receipt attached one of those fun "already creased and indented rip lines". Buttug holds the receipt end with one hand, and the actual ticket end with the other. Then he displays his great body musculature with a grandiose display of strength by ripping apart the two sides perfectly down the middle.
He then decides to check the ticket to make sure everything is in order when he reads "If receipt is detached, ticket is void".


*Am I becoming too much of a language snob if I start switching from English to Spanish in the MIDDLE of a sentence!? Hablar means "to speak" so that whole sentence up there doesn't actually make sense. Oh well, I'm a snob, I stick my nose up to not-making-sense.
**I'm out of control. Somebody stop me.
***I know there was no third star, but is it confusing that within one post, I refer to myself both in the first and third person? Cuz I was thoroughly confused trying to edit this post. But it may be the fact that I'm an utter idiot that is slowly my editting down. Let me know either way.

Read More...

Summary only...

So watch yourself.

Some said I looked like I was on drugs:
"I can't live my, life this way, continually get high"
- Dilated Pupils Peoples

Some said I looked like Mr. Burns in that episode...ya know...this one:

All I know is if anyone decides to take a picture of me and uses flash photography within the next, negative 3 hours, then I may turn into a werewolf, or wait, vampire (cuz vampires are the ones that are sensitive to the bright lights) and rip their head off.

Read More...

Summary only...

Cuz this was just about the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

It's 2AM, reading week, and I'm not being productive. I'm just sitting here in front of a computer.

And I enjoy every minute of it.

Read More...

Summary only...

And when I say heads up, I really mean "duck" because thats what everyone does anyways, so why even bother venting my frustrations on that little logic loophole.

*The number one cause of injury in Netherlands (or is it "the" Netherlands, I'm really not sure, whatever I'll just call it Holland): Cramped-foot-itus**, occurs when one attempts to stuff his/her own foot into a wooden shoe

The number two cause of death in Holland: Deadly Darts

And I quote, "Often the board falls down on someone's foot or worse on someone's head".

My bad, the number two cause of death in Holland - Idiot-...itus. How does a dartboard fall on someone's head unless that someone decides to go stand under a dartboard? Why would you stand under a dartboard?! To play a screwed up game of William Tell? What an odd socially accepting culture.

That's the equivalent of taking your friend hunting and then shooting them in the face.*** Them happenings would never be tolerated over in North America.

Oh wait, nevermind.

* - Not a real statistic
** - Not a real injury diagnosis, or a real word
*** - Is it too late for me to start making fun of Cheney? Or should I just refer you to Dr.THIS-IS-MY-BLOG for a checkup and then you can tell me how that goes?

Read More...

Summary only...

I've taken in two refugees from Kingston, both under the impression that they are simply staying with me for a few days before we head back into Kingston.

Tonight, I will be taking them on a "road trip" to Scarborough, where I will promptly trade them both for ice cream sundaes and chocolate truffles. That's just my hustle. And ya can't knock the hustle.

Please keep it a secret mkay? Thanks.

Read More...

Summary only...

This post has nothing to do with a chocolate danish. I just like them very much.

Tensions are high in Iran. And not because America has suddenly gone on the offensive with the shootings of random people, oh wait that's just the VP, but because of an editorial cartoon released by Denmark.

But SERIOUSLY GUYS, it didn't hafta come this far. If you're gonna rename those fluffy sweet delicious pastries known as Danishes, wouldn't you may try for sth at least similar? Refer to how the American's changed French Fries to Freedom Fries (also works with French --> Freedom Toast). It's actually quite clever.

"Roses of the Prophet Mohammad". Now there's a mouthful. Imagine the poor people:
"Can I have arrows, sorry, a rose of da Mo....a shucks forget it"

Then they give up and go eat a cupcake.

Everybody, let's just leave the poor pastries out of this little dispute okay? I understand that there will be some rioting and some egging of European embassies, but we don't need to drag innocent pastries into this conflict. It doesn't have to be that way. Does it?

Read More...

Summary only...

Honestly.

I'll be back to finish this post up later after I get p0wnzer'd by this midterm.

*back to finish the post*

I knew I had something to hate on today.
Dang it.
Don't you just HATE IT when you forget what you were gonna say? Granted, this was quite a few hours back.

Read More...

Summary only...

Continuing this hate filled week. Now, I originally intended to go punch any couple I saw exchanging flowers or teddy bears or chocolates, in their loving faces, but I'm actually expecting something. From you. Yes, you, the reader. And my housemates. And plus, how predictable would it be for me to hate Valentines Day on Valentines Day?

SO instead, I'm gonna call out them powers to be that have given me three "tests" tomorrow, thus rendering me to be a library hermit for this wonderful day. And you can call me a conspiracy theorist, but somehow I have a feeling that these evaluations were called "tests" so I can't go complaining to other powers to be that I have three "MIDTERMS" on one day. Can you FEEL THE LOVE?

Apparantly, if you wanted to, you could go to a "cuddle party". Yeah, apparantly this fad has invaded Queen's cuz I'm sittin in tutorial readin about it in our campus newspaper. I think, sorry everybody, that I won't even "touch" (sorry) this topic.

Alright, let's keep it light-hearted (muhaha I'm on a roll today). Everyone else is trying to inject the love into this day. Blogger....do your best:

as opposed to:



*standing ovation with river-loads of tears flooding down my eyes*

Well done Blogger, you have truly inspired me to just be that much more loving today. I'm just so ... at a loss ... for words... to express what that slight but brilliant change in your logo has done for me, so I'm gonna cut this sarcastic filled last paragraph right about ... now.

Read More...

Summary only...

So I totally killed this test I had that's worth...

*takes out a magnifying glass*

*puts it away and takes out a electron microscope*

Take a look for yourself! In the corner of the f.o.v. (field of view, err at least I think that's the correct acronym, if not then its now my fav. acronym, seriously I'm gonna go listen to Jay-Z tracks now and everytime he says "hov" I'm gonna replace it with "fov"...and if you keep reading this post, I'll even tell you where I'm listening to these tracks!) That's how much it's worth! SUPER!

So I suck at school. Maybe I've been going about this all wrong. I know I'm supposed to sequence some sort of genome, maybe what I need to do is join this project.

Sequencing MUSIC to analyze trends...interesting...works rather well, give it a whirl.

Meanwhile, in honor of my mean-spiritedness, today, I have decided to hate on those stupid soft-drink vending machines that have those ridiculously tiny slots that the bottle drops into. And then you have to manouver the orientation of the bottle into the perfect position before you can "slide it out"? Darn you Coca-Cola for making me play your sick puzzle vending machine game. All the while I was dying of thirst, frustration and the fact that about 20 people behind me have come to realize that I was the idiot holding up the vending machine line for five minutes.

Read More...

Summary only...

(Haha, I sound like the beginning of a One Tree Hill episode)

Right, so someone once said there is no time like the present.

Right now, I hate time so much that I managed to kick a clock that was hanging on front of a church balcony off the hook, and proceeded to watch it fall to its death amongst the pews, shattering into pieces.

Someone else also said that time is a valuable thing. Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings. Watch it count down to the end of the day.

I guess I'll just sit in this waiting room in utter silence a little longer.

Read More...

Summary only...

When it was all sunshine and lollipops, and you felt like everything was going your way, even that car going down the other side of the street was heading dangerously in the same direction you were walking?!

When you could probably string together binary numbers, or no, letters of the alphabet, and still win the lottery!? Find an abandoned trampoline and jump on it for hours and for days?!

When UGLY BLOGGER wouldn't hassle you everytime you tried to post?

When all your troubles seemed so far away!?*

...

Yeah, I don't.

*Beatles wrote semi-cheesy songs. In the good way.

Read More...

Summary only...

I woke up feelin a little sore in the throat. Possibly due to not fully recovering from earlier illnesses before downing pizzas, fries, curly fries, fried chicken, and a couple mcdonald meals.

Please excuse me if I'm feelin a little like the above picture, a little hoarse.

Blogger hates me.
Actually so do a lot of things.
So I'm gonna get to participatin in all this hatin.

Read More...

Summary only...

I think I may have missed Chinese New Year. My wallet usually gets stuffed like a turkey in January, but I've already had to sell my paint samples to some poor kid who would pay me about 2 dollars for the two Mickey Mouse paint samples I have. Kids are such suckers for Disney characters.

In my absolute denial that Chinese New Year took place this year, I am continuing to write "Year of the Rooster" on my cheques instead of "Year of the Dog".

I blame my absentemindedness (a word this long makes me look so sophisticated) on the human genome size. Did you know that CORN has a bigger genome than humans? "They practically have brains spilling out of their ears". - thank you very much new molecular biology professor.

Read More...

Summary only...

I have been a gigantic advocator of Kanye West. I am also way too lazy to go back and link to posts where I have been an advocator of Kanye West. In fact, I'm so lazy, I'm considering ending this post right about.....

But I won't. Because I believe this is a topic worth investigating. Before I go on anymore, just take a look at these:

Let's start with PastorMurda Ma$e. So he says he's gotta cuss a little to attract the masses of people to listen to his music because when he went clean, the people went away, cuz the music sucked harder than a vacuum cleaner. And listen to his logic. He's gonna go back to rappin about rims, benji's and women IN ORDER for people to listen to him to spread his "good ideologies" that he picked up along the way as a Pastor. How duped would you feel if you were one of the members of his congregation? If I were Ma$e, I'd be hoping the rapture ain't anytime soon.

Moving on. To the Kanye. How big is your head when you can pose as Muhammad Ali and JESUS all in the same magazine issue? I'm constantly confounded by this guy, cuz we GET that people thought less of you and that no label would sign you before you made it big. You can stop rubbing it in our faces that them labels were wrong. Just, stick to your music and let that do the talking. Kanye, check your mail. I ordered you about 356, no, 1460 little pins so that you could prick yourself in the head four times a day for a year to deflate your giant ego.

I'm so frustrated by the lack of good role models out there. And I don't think I'm just talkin about the music industry. For the people out there working hard to live a consecrated life, I commend you, and please keep it going. The rest of us, let's try okay? Me included.

Read More...

Summary only...

Everybody, make sure you know where your children are and start boarding up those windows and doors. That's right, a wave is about to sweep over this planet, and it's coming to a town near you, Summer 2006, www.ThatWaveWillEatYourChildren.com.

Settle down. No sir, no need to riot and stock up on water jugs. SERIOUSLY, PUT THAT CROWBAR DOWN. I'm talkin about a new "fad" that is currently making nerds run to their computers, release their "winged" fingers (cuz they fly across the keyboard), and start giggling nerdily (like...neeeheehehehehehe).

My friends, nerds today that have not bought a Mac are either installing the Mac operating system or a Mac-Theme onto their PC's.

Semi-Nerd people *gasp*, The-Rest just stare

Essentially, they have turned their computers into poser-mac's. Mac's have just become the new Tamagotchi (remember those? wicked fun...I sure say "wicked" a lot now) Or the new LiveStrong wristband. Everybody's gotta have one. And if you don't have one, then you hafta go to the local China Town and pick yourself up one of them rip-offs. Bringing me back to these rip-off macs. And by "local China Town" I mean the Internet, cuz that's where nerds get their software. And hardware. And any "ware"'s for that matter, even the "be"wares.

This post is kinda lacking. Let's go on a slight tangent.

I, being in the category of semi-nerd, ran to my computer and quickly tried this out, only to give up and settle for much much less. Take a look at my fancy new blogroll.

"But Buttug, It's the same set of links".

OR IS IT? I'll wait while you go examine that. *humming along to Raul Midon's All In Your Mind*

Well, if you're lucky, it might be slightly altered. See, if a link has a "!!" appended to it, then it has been recently updated. So I no longer have to rigorously check every single link every single day. Not that I do. I mean, yes I do read everyone of your blogs everyday... please read mine.

I wonder how many posts in a row I can go that include a link to myself. Before I either forget, or my readership goes to negative 10 because of my utter bigheadedness.

**Recently Discovered, Xanga and LiveJournals do not let my dandy blogroll pick up "updates"...RATS**

Read More...

Summary only...