most of you are tired of my stupid one-liners that only kinda make sense (they make sense to me at least)... so fine i'll dish out a longer joke that im stealing off my brotheR :P i doubt he reads this blog ne ways ha so be prepared for a long joke in the form of a story (i will not be typing this all at one time...)
once upon a time, there was a lil boy johnny.
johnny was a VERY intelligent baby.
for some reason, he was attracted to odd things.
his parents noticed that he loved the fridge!
and it wasnt even the food inside the fridge!
so they did what normal parents would do.
they went out and bought their son a mini-fridge.
and this is a lil 2 year old kid we're talking about here.
so johnny gets all excited, and starts playing with the fridge.
he figured out how to plug it in and all too.
the parents being the "great" parents they were didnt mind johnny playing with the fridge.
nor did they mind johnny playing with the electrical outlets either.
time passes, and johnny continues to grow.
at the age of 4, his parents decide to send him off to school.
johnny refuses to leave the house.
the throws a massive tantrum, and the WHOLE works..kicking and screaming and all
his parents finally figure out that its his FRIDGE he wants.
so they bring it along with them to school. johnny is happy.
this continues to be the trend, and all throughout elementary school, johnny has his fridge with him.
on field trips, johnny's parents would hafta sign two waiver forms.
one for johnny, one for johnny's fridge.
one day in science class, they learn about electricity.
johnny starts dreaming about his fridge, and then ideas start popping up in his mind.
after school, he heads to the library (with his fridge) and reads up more books on electricity.
he decides to modify his fridge a bit at home.
after the modifications, the fridge runs super smooth, and efficiently.
his parents, still confused with the fridge-loving, were still proud of him for able to "soup up" the fridge
johnny finishes elementary school at the top of his class.
in his validictorian speech, he gives credit to his fridge.
moving into high school was a big change for him.
he was a loner, and he didnt try to make friends either.
he was completely satisfied with his fridge.
a lot of the times, he would hafta walk into class early to re-arrange desks/chairs to make space for his fridge.
and alll that running between classes was a lil harder with a fridge, but johnny didnt mind at all.
his parents would continually bug him about the fridge, as they thought it was growing wayy to old and immature to be so clinggy to a fridge.
johnny refused to answer their questions and stuck with the fridge.
he gradutaes high school AGAIN at the top of his class.
his prom date?... yes it was the fridge.
his acceptance into university was a guarantee.
in fact, he chose to go to a university with a very brilliant professor of engineering.
the professor soon took johnny under his wing, and johnny would go to his lab everyday.
he would also bring the fridge along.
the professor didnt question johnny about the fridge.
instead he encouraged johnny to continue making modifications.
after johnny became comfortable with the professor, he ran an idea he dreamed of a while back by the prof.
"fridges make things cool. i want to have part of the fridge keep things cool, while part of the fridge keep things warm"
the prof is shocked by this revolutionary idea... and decides to send him to Hong Kong over summer break.
you see, Hong Kong is where all the advanced technology was, and the prof had some connections for johnny to utilize.
johnny hopped on a plane, and flew to hong kong.
he returned 4 months later with his modified cool/hot fridge.
the next school year comes along, and johnny once again thinks of another great idea to add to his fridge.
and this continues for a few years at the university under the encouragement of the brilliant professor.
johnny continues to get his fridge "pimped"! with revolutionary ideas.
and his attachment to the fridge continues to grow.
after his final trip to hong kong, he hops back on the plane to america.
but while flying over the rocky mountains, the plane experiences some problems.
the pilot tells everyone to start unloading things from the plane, and dumping them overboard. there isnt too much to dump, and the pilot soon realizes the best thing to throw out of the plane is the fridge.
johnny gets VERY defensive with his fridge, to the point where he needs to be restrained.
tears rolled down his face as the some passengers wheeled his fridge to the door, and push it out.
he crawls to the window and watches it fall.
*--- end part 1 --- a**** goes back to work and starts typing again 2 hours later*
now there was this other boy. his name was jack.
jack had liked this girl named jill for as long as he could remember.
when he was very young, he was the ringbearer and she was the flower girl.
he was in the same class as her for every grade in elementary school.
every field trip they went on the teacher managed to pair them up in the "buddy system"
in high school, they were both in the same group of friends.
they worked on many group projects together.
they joined the same clubs, committees, and teams.
they even went to the same church! and served with passion on sandwich runs.
but jack never told jill he liked her.
he always held back looking for clear "signs" that she liked him too, but that never came.
so time passes, and jack and jill went to separate universities.
after they graduate, they both end up with very nice jobs.
in fact, they ended up working for the same company!
at orientation they met up and their friendship continued right where it left off.
jack took this "coincidence" as the final sign he needed to tell jill that he liked her
they started having a serious relationship, and jill found jack to be absolutely perfect.
and jack felt quite the same way.
two years after their first date, jack bought jill an engagement ring and asked her to marry him.
she said "yes, but i have ONE final test"
although she was 99% sure that jack was the man for her, she still wanted that extra bit of comfort.
and so, jack and jill climbed up a hill (haha...), actually it was a mountain for a picnic one day.
when they reached the top, jack grew a lil impatient from the long walk up.
he wanted to know what the test was.
jill took off the engagement ring, and said:
"jack, i am going to throw this ring down this mountain, you have one hour to find it, and return it to me. then i know you are the man for me"
she threw it as far as she possible could, and jack started racing down the mountain.
ten minutes later, jack had reached the foot of the mountain, but had no clue where the ring was.
he starts a methodical search, combing the area for anything shiny.
20 minutes into the search, he find .. a shiny piece of metal, but no ring
half an hour passes, and still no luck.
45 minutes and STILL no luck! jack becomes very frustrated, but continues to look, because he truely loves jill. he gives up on the methodical search, and goes to frantic search mode.
at fifty minutes, jack sees the ring half buried in some dirt.
he's dog tired at this point, but gets the ring and starts hauling @$$ up to jill.
he made it DOWN the mountain in 10 minutes, but this was gonna take a miracle if he was gonna make it.
with five minutes left, he trips over a tree root, and cuts on his legs and arms start to bleed.
he chugs right along though with the only thing on his mind being jill.
with one minute left to spare, jack finally catches sight of jill.
if he races full speed with all he has left, he could still make it.
jill sees jack too and becomes excited!
she starts inching a lil closer to jack's direction.
then the whole "romantic closing" scene in all chick flicks play...you know with the music, and the slow motion running into each other arms.
except, before jack reaches jill, a fridge falls on him and kills him.
*--- the end ---*
HAHAH hahah i had fun WRITING this joke! :P
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