Then he ask do you say your prayers at least 2 a week?
I ain't talking to God I know what I've been doing G.
Do you know how I be embarrassed?
My prayers sound like Ben Stiller's on Meet the Parents.

Kanye West ft. Mase - Jesus Walks Remix

okay, i dont know i guess that part of the song stuck out the first time i heard it cuz Meet the Parents was ONE FUNNY MOVIE! ooo cant wait for meet the ... fockers hahaha! december!!!

i'll prolly post more later on, cuz this post was actually kinda "not stupid", and of course, i cant let this post ruin my rep of being utterly and completely..."out there"!

WHAT REP..oh who cares

so i was cruisin down the highway going a comfortable 130km/h this morning (or at least i was for this joke)

i get pulled over by the police... and the first thing i say was: "wow officer! you must've been doing a good 130 to keep up with me!"

officer: *blank stare* "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?"

Now, learn from me and dont say this:
"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

maybe i should be working while i'm at work...
but i thought about it

and i thought about it REALLY HARD (or i ripped it off another website)

(ohhh its a theme...he rips things off other ppl's websites...i see)

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW

thats why i dont work hard :)

did you know that 5 out of 4 people have trouble with fractions?

today at work, we celebrated someone in my department getting a promotion to be a co-ordinator in a different department. it seems she's been working really long, and its about time she climbed that corporate ladder.

what i cant figure out is HOW to find out WHERE you are in the ladder...

after a LONG HARD DAY of...well nothing... i have come up with this (or i stole it off someones website)

Key to Status:
S = D/K. S is the status of a person in an organization, D is the number of doors he must open to perform his job, and K is the number of keys he carries. A higher number denotes higher status. Thus the janitor needs to open 20 doors and has 20 keys (S = 1), a secretary has to open two doors with one key (S = 2), but the president never has to carry any keys since there is always someone around to open doors for him (with K = 0 and a high D, his S reaches infinity).

thats interesting no?!

and since i work pretty close to a lab...i should pay attention to this piece of advice:
First Law of Laboratory Work
Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.

Murphy's Constant
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value

Woods's Incomplete Maxims:
All's well that ends.
A penny saved is a penny.
Don't leave things unfinishe

Wolf's Law of History Lessons:
Those who don't study the past will repeat its errors. Those who do study it will find OTHER ways to err.

Witten's Law:
Whenever you cut your fingernails, you will find a need for them an hour later.

and lastly
Thinking Man's Tautology:
If you think you're wrong, you're wrong.
Corollary: If you think you're wrong, you're right.

heheh i'm bored again..the work i was supposed to do this week, well half of it i cant do cuz the templates arent in the system for me to enter data into...and another 1/4 of it is just messed up stuff i hafta ask my supervisor..and i finished the other 1/4! so...i'm just surfin the net for stupid stuff like this :) maybe i'll have more later

*----edit----*

found sth for you jlO:
Schmidt's Law:
Never eat prunes when you're hungry.

!!

but you know, dumb blonde jokes are quite funny...so if u think i'm being offensive against blondes, then just substitute sth else in place of the word blonde...like "a****" or "buttugly a****" ... sth to taht extent

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.