Welcome to the first day...

...of the rest of your life.

Coincidentally, it is also the day I, the aawesome Buttug McOysty, the reigning Person of the Year as named by the generous people at the prestigious Time Magazine, have decided to make my long-awaited return to my favorite stomping grounds, the Internets.

While I realize I may have forfeited opportunities to do a 2006-year-in-review post by musing about Secret Santa amongst other topics, then proceeding to go on an extended vacation, I have a duty, even if it is only to my extremely short memory span, to retrace, remind and relive. Sometimes, I try really hard with the alliteration. Other times, much like today, it is severely half-hearted. Shall we reminisce?

But first, duck! It's Dick!

Actually, the person whose face Dick Cheney decorated with shotgun bullets mustered up all the nobility he had in him and came out with a public apology to Dick. And if that's not upside down enough for you, 2006 should be remembered as the year the vegetables got their dark side on and struck back with an E. coli vengeance. It was probably safer to eat one of the newly introduced BK Quadruple Stackers because it contained no traces of any vegetables (meat, bacon and cheese, OH MY!).

Speaking of lethality, remember when Korea exploded that bomb underground, not that I should strike this out, I wonder how hard it is to read words that have been HTML-struck Jim Jones metaphorically killed Jay-Z, and now all the kids, myself included, are running around screaming "BALLIN" with reckless abandon?

I talk extensively about personal musical tastes on this site, so I won't delve too much into that area this post, but I must bring up the hyphy movement, that was not only birthed in 2006, but laid to rest in 2006. How bang on was I?

And of course the boys responsible for YouTube became instant chamillionaires billionaires, and enabled me to skip out on writing full length posts by instead, for example, posting up a video containing a hilariously rehearsed dance routine, say, on treadmills. But we're no longer allowed to laugh at this:

I don't intend to fully review another album tonight. As a matter of fact, my mind is currently occupied with the migration issues that have sprung up as I attempt to shuffle blog templates, all in the name of making your reading experience more enjoyable.

With that said, I've taken flak in the past for having too lengthy a post, or for being to superfluous. If anything, I am superbulous (super + fabulous), but in the open forum that is the Internets, people will have their say about everything. And because I dish out my fair of criticisms, I better be able to take it. And the solution that should satisfy everybody is...

...amazing.

So if you choose to read lengthy posts, that option is still available. And if you choose to skip over posts I have deemed lengthy so it will include the "Read More" button, then go ahead. The fact that you were even on my page increases the hit counter, I don't actually need everybody to read everything I write!

So back to the task at hand. I will now play Gwen in the background while proceeding with coding issues. It'll be interesting to see how this turns out.

Track One - Wind It Up
The Sound of Music inspired single. Basically it's ridiculous.

Track Two - The Sweet Escape
Speaking of the Sound of Music, I always get that movie mixed up with Mary Poppins. Isn't that weird? I mean, one movie's about, well, falling in love, and the other is about chim chimery's and a spoon so full of sugar that it's making my mouth water.

This track sounds like something S-Club 7 released a long time ago. And according to the title, Akon is supposedly featured, but it's the end of the track and I haven't heard him at all. It's for the better.

Track Three - Orange County Girl
Because you know, Akon is just another one of the mass produced R&B singers that so happens to be "hot" right now (no brokeback). I just haven't found the factory where they churn these guys out quite yet.

Give me break, I haven't even found Waldo yet, and Carmen Sandiego keeps country hopping.

Track Four - Early Winter
No Gwen, in fact, it's verging on December and I haven't seen much snow yet. I will not acknowledge the winter season until snow hits me square between the eyes.

Track Five - Now That You Got It
Why does my text spacing change after I link to an image/video? What the heck blogger? I'll work-around it by using the blogger insert image function.

Track Six - 4 In The Morning
Didn't Our Lady Peace do a song titled "4AM"? I hope I'm not making this up. And I know Matchbox 20 did that "3AM" song. Is this going to be a fad? Are we going to have tracks titled "2:46", and eerily spans 2 minutes and 46 seconds?

Track Seven - Yummy
I hope she talks about pancakes. Oh please, talk about pancakes! Oh, she's talking about herself and how she's delicious. Disappointment.

The Neptunes must be behind this because it sounds like track numero one-oh. Yup, there's Pharrell with his "superb" flow. Haha, she even says "wind it up"! You know what this is?

SYNERGY.

Four minutes into this track, it gets creepy, and the instrumental section comprises of sounds that I can only describe as factory-ish. I'm making headway into this R&B singer manufacturer investigation can't you see?

Track Eight - Fluorescent
Of course, there had to be a scheduled blogger outtage just as I was making some progress. I guess my changes will have to wait another day, along with this post, which I will now continue writing in Notepad, and post it tomorrow morning as if the outtage never occured. What to do now, what to do.

Hello, fantasy sports.

Track Nine - Breakin' Up
This song can either be about being dumped, or, bad cell phone reception.

Remeber that BackStreetBoys track? "MY BATTERY IS LOW! GOTTA GO!" Good times.

What do you know! She said "batteries getting low"!

This song is so good with the double entendres. This has the looks of an instant classic.

Track Ten - Don't Get It Twisted
How did the New York Knicks beat the Cleveland Cavaliers Lebron James? Oh, I hope David Lee lit it up...10-5-stl-blk, not bad not bad. Isn't David Lee such an odd name for a Caucasian? Maybe it's just me, possibly because I've known one or two David Lee's in my lifetime (HOV!)

Track Eleven - U Started It
Gwen, "U" is spelled "WHY-OH-YOU". Oh, I should probably mention that the last track had this for a hook, "This is the most craziest sh*t ever".

Just curious Gwen, Would you classify that sh*t as...

...bananas?

Track Twelve - Wonderful Life
Find it weird that I'm talking about sports in the context of this post? Rhetorical question really, because I'm about to continue.

I hope Vince Carter comes back to the Toronto Raptors. Then I can go to games and boo my face out, even if he leads the Raps back into the playoffs. I remember doing that for Tracy McGrady, although he was on the Magic, so I don't know how weird it'd be to boo a player on the team you're cheering for night in, night out. I'm still undecided.

Track Bonus - Candyland
Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew? Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two...
The candyman, the candyman can!

I don't know what this song is about, nor do I know if it will actually be included with this album.

Oh wait, she does say "this sh*t is f***ing bananas". Bringing it all back together into one neat little package. Well done.

Additional Thoughts: Very enjoyable album, time seemed to fly as I listened to this very cohesive album that is dance-enducing and very upbeat all the way through, even in the darker movements.

Gwen is probably the only individual that not only gets away with this stuff, but makes it sound good. I would say that Ms.Stefani is the leader in her field (female pop vocalists), with the most recent rip-offs including Fergie-Ferg and Nelly Furtado. She ascends to a whole other level with this offering, which, sadly, she has mentioned will be her last solo album.