Dear Fox,

As I prepare to settle into a weekend where the majority of the time will be spent on my couch watching the NFL playoffs as carried by your fabulous network (amongst others), I expect at least 50 references or ads related to or about the upcoming premiere of 24.

In fact, I wouldn't be entirely opposed to a spiffy "countdown to" clock running in the lower left corner of the screen.

Even though I have already seen the two episodes you plan to air in two days, as well as the two episodes the following day, I think that it would not only be the smart promotional move (synergy!), but can it get more macho than football and Jack Bauer?

Also if you could provide some dark periods during the unimportant parts of your show, where the television screen could go dark and the sound would be muted, in order for me to fit in power naps and/or washroom breaks, it would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Me

There is no such thing as bad media. At least thats the phrase commonly bandied about by, well, the media.

Knowing this full well, rappers have been exploiting this for years. Cooking up trouble to generate interest in a soon to be released product with the ultimate goal of increased sales figures can be done in a variety of ways. Whether it be by disclosing over and over again how many times you got shot, or by releasing a cute, but drug-dealing related, t-shirt that kids all over the country would wear to school.

All very controversial. But my favorite tactic, most recently on display courtesy of Nasir Jones (Nas) and Sean Carter (Jay-Z) on the side I will call "30's the new 20 and I will bitterly claim that to stay relevant", Weezy F Baby (Lil' Wayne), Dipset (Jimmy Jones) and a little Jeezy (Young Jeezy) on the opposing side I dub "Puh-lease, you should've stayed retired", much like Maple Leaf hot dogs, is 100%, genuine, bona fide, electrified ... BEEF!

Moo.

And the verbal fighting I hear most about these days? Donald Trump vs Rosie O'Donnell. Timed perfectly to coincide with the just-premiered season of his hit show, The Apprentice. Except that it didn't work, with ratings receding at the rate of Trump's hairline. Even I, the self-proclaimed watcher of all things television, have not payed attention to that show in...a few years.

But back to the matter at hand. The only thing better than two people beefing?! Three people beefing.

Apparently, Rosie made some disparaging remarks about Asian people on The View, and Jin, the only Asian rapper today with even a slight influence on American culture (correct me if I'm wrong), felt the need to defend his Asian background, but more importantly, remain relevant, and released a dis track featuring Donald Trump's remarks over one of the best dis tracks ever (arguably). Of course, given the nature of a dis track, play at your own discretion. If you choose not to listen, at least allow me to quote:

"You ate up all the d**n pizza, which Burger King you go to, just to fill up your belly, no need to prove you're heavy."

There's a treat for my Cantonese understanding friends smack dab in the middle of the song (1:57ish) as he goes for about half a verse in that dialect.

With my recent joining of Flickr, and the subsequent linking of my Flickr page to this blog, the battle to remain relatively Internet anonymous just got a little harder.

How does one go about posting pictures that are meaningful and full of memories without revealing how one looks like? I could just continue posting pictures of scenery I encounter, or other inanimate objects, but to truly evoke emotion and memories, I feel the need to display a couple of pictures that I am prominently featured in.

Quite connundruminous.

For now, I have resorted to posting up shots where either my face is not in full view or I have covered up the majority of my face with something (i.e. a pair of sunglasses, a scarf, chicken wings), and I resolve to continue along this path.

So if you notice me conspicuously turning my head while you attempt to take a photograph of me or with me, forcing you to re-take the picture, try to remember not to delete the "ruined" picture, as it will probably show up on my Flickr.

Thank you very little.

Welcome to the first day...

...of the rest of your life.

Coincidentally, it is also the day I, the aawesome Buttug McOysty, the reigning Person of the Year as named by the generous people at the prestigious Time Magazine, have decided to make my long-awaited return to my favorite stomping grounds, the Internets.

While I realize I may have forfeited opportunities to do a 2006-year-in-review post by musing about Secret Santa amongst other topics, then proceeding to go on an extended vacation, I have a duty, even if it is only to my extremely short memory span, to retrace, remind and relive. Sometimes, I try really hard with the alliteration. Other times, much like today, it is severely half-hearted. Shall we reminisce?

But first, duck! It's Dick!

Actually, the person whose face Dick Cheney decorated with shotgun bullets mustered up all the nobility he had in him and came out with a public apology to Dick. And if that's not upside down enough for you, 2006 should be remembered as the year the vegetables got their dark side on and struck back with an E. coli vengeance. It was probably safer to eat one of the newly introduced BK Quadruple Stackers because it contained no traces of any vegetables (meat, bacon and cheese, OH MY!).

Speaking of lethality, remember when Korea exploded that bomb underground, not that I should strike this out, I wonder how hard it is to read words that have been HTML-struck Jim Jones metaphorically killed Jay-Z, and now all the kids, myself included, are running around screaming "BALLIN" with reckless abandon?

I talk extensively about personal musical tastes on this site, so I won't delve too much into that area this post, but I must bring up the hyphy movement, that was not only birthed in 2006, but laid to rest in 2006. How bang on was I?

And of course the boys responsible for YouTube became instant chamillionaires billionaires, and enabled me to skip out on writing full length posts by instead, for example, posting up a video containing a hilariously rehearsed dance routine, say, on treadmills. But we're no longer allowed to laugh at this:

I haven't finished debating the ethics on posting this up, but I'm going to go ahead and do it anyways, and I'll hide it under the guise of the "Read More" option. This is proof that cheesy humor and dumb puns run deep in my family blood. This is in reference to the make-a-list for parental Secret Santa post a few back. Here's what my brother wants, along with my comments in italics:

"1. I would like a dog tag with a beady chain that would reach past my neck (not too short) with my name carved in braille. Yes that's right, braille, alphabet found here. If the place doesn't do braille...then I guess my name in English would be okay. But if you get it in braille, I'll love you forever.

*My brother is not blind, nor do I think he could distinguish braille from grains of salt. But like Fergie Ferg, he'll love you long time.*

2. Gift certificate/card for HMV or Future Shop so that I don't have to pay the full 57.99 for that TV series I really want..that I'm "desperate" for. hahahaha lol

*GET IT?! DESPERATE Housewives? Genius. Except for the "hahahhaha" followed by the "lol" which is redundant.*

3. If 1 and 2 cannot be done, then use your imagination, although there's seriously nothing wrong with 2. I would ask for the TV series, but it's 57.99, so 2 is very practical and nice =)

*If you're having problems with number 1 and number 2, you probably should drink more water and eat more vegetables hahahaha lol.*

-crapstopher"

His favorite alias references "crap", my favorite person references "butt". The parallels are undeniable.