The cold winter months provide the chance for everyone to break out their fancy winter jackets. And there's this one specific group of people with "special" winter jackets.
You know, the ones adorned with lift tickets from different ski/snowboard resorts.
And they wear those lift tickets as if they were gold medals. Because that's what they are. Pretend gold medals for people that aren't actually good enough for actual gold medals.
So with that said, check out my lift ticket:
That's right. I went into the past to battle Muhammad Ali, and then went to the future to slide down a hill - Mount Everest.
So to all those people wearing lift tickets, yes, I am better than you.
I know, most of you won't even bother clicking on the link because the story originated in Atlanta (but how would you know that without clicking?), so let me quickly summarize:
"Forty students from Creekside High and Bear Creek Middle schools in Fairburn will be the first to try the "Learn & Earn" program, where students will get paid to attend after-school tutoring programs."
You see, the students that enroll in the program learn how bribery works!
More importantly, who's going to do all the random chores like shoveling snow and mowing the lawn for a cheap buck now that kids could earn $8 an hour sitting in a tutoring session?
Of course you do. You're avid fans of my blog. You know everything there is to know. Go get yourself a reward cookie (try an Oreo, there aren't much better reward cookies than Oreo's. Seriously! It's been proven by pseudoscience. Which means absolutely nothing). I'll wait.
*humming Cher's "Believe" (don't ask)*
Delicious?
I told you so.
Back to the subject at hand. In that video, the baby was conditioned to laugh when paper was ripped. Now, a couple of you were outraged at the child exploitation going on in the video.
I took it one step further.
Witness below, as I condition my friend to laugh (outrageously) at the sight of a baby laughing.
What's this "other one" that was mentioned near the end of the video by the gentlemen sitting up front? Well, that was the video that set the tone. I showed a different but equally funny baby laughing video just before the above video took place, but you can click for that yourself, if you're still interested in my pseudo-science experiment.
Class Number One - Databases - In the middle of diagrammatically representing a simplified version of Facebook's database structure, a discussion breaks out on certain requirements between student number 1 (an annoying man who sits up front and slows down the class by asking questions, making comments, and being too friendly with the prof) and student number 2 (an annoyed student happening to sit in the same row as yours truly)...
Student number 1: You don't need friends to have Facebook. It's not a requirement. Student number 2: We're not talking about YOUR Facebook account. The rest of us: Did he just.......OHHHH BUUURN!!!!!!!! BOOM HEAD SHOT!
Class Number Two - Medical Imaging The funny professor randomly inserted an American Gladiator analogy to explain Ultrasound techniques. American Gladiator. How often does a prof use CURRENT pop culture references, much less a show I happen to watch (and a show a bunch of us have attempted to adapt for ourselves here in our lowly apartments)? It was legend-that-thing-you-find-on-a-map-to-help-you-decipher-the-symbols-dary.
*Preface - An interesting discussion between two of my more avid commentpeople broke out in the comment section of this post. It doesn't particularly pertain to today's post, but I found it amusing how they were putting in harder work on my blog than I was.
Apple is once again out to attack people's self esteems. The previously endorsed message, "it is not enough to be useful, you have to look pretty at the same time".
This time around, it is not enough to be skinny, heck it is not even enough to be anorexic, you have to be as thin as the air surrounding the tip of Mount Everest.
McOysty, what does that even mean? Well you see, class, earth's atmospheric pressure has an exponential inverse relationship with natural elevation. Meaning, the higher up you go, the less weighty, thinner (ding!), the air gets.
That unofficial science lesson was brought to you by the crack research team at Seriously Stupefying Stupidity. Our motto is, "if it's on Wikipedia, then it's got to be true, right?". The question mark in our slogan provides intrigue missing from so many other corporate slogans.
Introducing, the Macbook Air, weighing in at 3 pounds, 0.76 inches (at the max point), for a 13.3 inch display:
Frankly, it does not sit well with me that Apple would promote such sickly slimness in a culture that already idolizes size 00 stick figures. Think of all the other laptops that will read about this new Macbook, and the accompanying insecurity that is bound to creep in. The buckets of ice-cream and boxes of chocolate they will then ingest.
Think of the humiliation when a laptop's owner sets their desktop wallpaper to an image of the super sexy Macbook Air. Better order some more ice-cream and chocolate.
And then, that day finally arrives. When the laptops are cast aside for that package that arrives in one of those intra-office envelopes.
Just writing this post made me feel so bad about myself and my excess weight that I grabbed a pork chop out of the fridge and went to town on it. Without heating it up, and without using a fork and knife.
A big part of me (that was in no way a reference to my weight) is just bitter that Apple decided to come out with this product now, 6 months after I bought my laptop.
Then again, I could care less. Secretly, between you and me, getting past the uber-thin frame, the Macbook Air is
This is currently set as my desktop wallpaper. Inspiration found in the most unlikely of places, an altogether thought out movie, so if you ever get the chance.
Now that I think about it, when was the last time a time traveling movie made sense?
Coupled with The Game Plan starring Dwayne The Rock Johnson, the second National Treasure movie (that I haven't seen but assume to be good), and Enchanted (again, I'm going by hearsay), Disney appears to have really done their thing in 2007.
Disney movies. Procrastination tool for the foreseeable future.
That, and homemade American Gladiator challenges. I'm being told not to post any videos up, but I don't know if I can resist much more.
*Preface - I don't know how I'm supposed to take my medical imaging prof seriously for the rest of the term. He abused the subject-matter authority automatically attributed to a professor by a student on the very first day by conning us. AND, he's short, chubby, balding, four-eyed, and has an accent. Read on...and remember, it's accented, so it was ten times funnier in person.
Prof - Obviously, we've come a long way in the field of surgery. One time at a conference, a surgeon was telling me about this one surgery where they applied local anesthetic to the patient's arm, thinking he wouldn't feel a thing. Quite the opposite happened when they started cutting into him, and the patient started jumping up and down. The patient was such a big football player-sized fellow that they had to bring in a sledgehammer to smash him a few times to subdue him.
*a couple of gasps from the class*
Prof - I'm just kidding. They just zapped him with a more powerful anesthetic. You should've seen your faces.
