The workplace cafeteria menu for today read, "Chinese New Year". I sat there thinking to myself, "Self, I would've appreciated a day off instead. But maybe they'll have cool dragon dances and hand out red pocket money! And have all you can eat turnip-cake! This could turn out to be a not so bad attempt at being culturally sensitive!"

Then it was time for lunch.

And wouldn't you know.

Chicken balls.

So I basically ate 'Manchu Panda Express Wok' for lunch today, but I'm sure other people actually felt like they were taking part in an authentic Chinese New Year celebration. Poor fools. If only they knew that the real celebration involved trading well-constructed phrases of good-wishes for money.