If I ever get on a game-show where I have to choose either door/suitcase/mystery-thing number 1, 2 or 3, I'd say something ridiculous to the host like, "Bob, my lucky number happens to be 13, and then I subtract the number of guitar strings I've snapped, about 11, which I then add 4 to because there are 4 letters in the word 'cool' and I'm definitely cool, then you divide those 6 by 2 because of the spontaneous process known as cell division, times that by Pharrell ft. Kanye West 'Number One', add the number of chicken wings I ate tonight, 25, divide that all by two because those technically were half chicken wings, subtract the number of awards Jonas Brothers have won, 28, according to Wikipedia, the most accurate and insightful encyclopedia ever, add my lucky number again, and then multiply by -1 because I like my numbers like I like my friends (REAL), that leaves me with number one."

(That wasn't what I came here to post about)

You know that saying, "fun in the sun"? Well, driving west while the sun is setting is totally NOT fun in the sun. You can't see any of the road signs/traffic lights, and the lane delimiters turn on their invisibility mode.

(Still not what I wanted to post...but it's coming up, so *MINOR SPOILER ALERT*)

So. The movie.

Looking back, if I kept a live-blog of the movie, I think it would've been hilarious. But then again, I'm really the only one that thinks I'm funny, so it might've turned out sad. We'll never know.

Being that it was a chick flick, there were the "awww" moments, there were the "oh no, that's stupid, please don't do that" moments, and there were the "please, real life doesn't work like this" moments. However, I think overriding all these moments, at least from my perspective, is that I left with a feeling of "Huh! Good for him/her/them". There were the happy endings, and there were the moving-on-with-the-rest-of-their-life endings, which is becoming increasingly popular and is fine by me because a lot of times, LIFE IS LIKE a box of chocolates THAT.

I don't think this particular movie overdid it on the unrealistic romance, nor were there any so-over-the-top-creative-your-future-wife-will-only-be-disappointed-because-you-couldn't-pull-something-like-that-off wedding proposals. I remember Jennifer Aniston looking stunning, by the way, bless her poor soul for having been set up like that at the Oscars (I didn't watch, but I heard about it after), but for one scene, she was wearing a terrible pair of glasses.

I should probably warn you, Seesun (because you might end up being the only person that ever reads this...my blog has become a desert wasteland), that if you like this James Morrison song, it is ruined forever by this movie. Forever. If you want to listen to that song again thinking happy thoughts, you can't see this movie. Mmkay? Moving on.

Rihanna, it SHOULD go without saying that HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU, and it's not simply a cultural thing, it's not something you should put up with. (Watch this video.)

This movie also employed the "small stories tied together by common characters" strategy. Like how you could be dating a co-worker that is your best friend's sister's therapist's brother. I kept expecting the stories to cross-talk and affect one another, but it didn't happen. Kudos to the movie people for faking me out there. It doesn't happen often. In fact, I haven't forgiven them for that yet.

I appreciated the attempt to accurately portray people's various approaches to relationships in general. Then again, I'm not going to the movies to learn life lessons (even though I really hope I'm not that guy). I'm going to study the Bible for that. Ruth and Boaz. That's right.

What else. What else.

Freida Pinto's husband, if she's not calling you, she's JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.

The Mac guy, playing a mack. Sorta. But it doesn't matter. Having a role in Die Hard 4 didn't matter. He's forever the Mac guy. Even when he's 50 and Mac's and Starbucks have fused to become Appstar (I'm not feeling particularly clever today), he's still going to be the Mac guy. I hope he's okay with that. Forever.

Terry Porter, the Phoenix Suns were just NOT THAT INTO YOUr coaching style.

I'm debating if Christopher Walken would've made this a better movie. Nah....although...haha

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You know, in all my years of typing out things and pressing "post", I don't ever remember being dared to write. Sure, I've been given suggestions, been encouraged, and more often than not, been mocked, but never dared.

Until now.

And as I thought about it, I realized that no one topic was really off-limits for me. To talk about that is. I mean, I know some things are better left unsaid, some things are better said in person, and something's gotta give. The movie. But not that movie.

What I've been dared to write about is something stereotypically left for the women of this world to write about. And from that gross over-generalization, I'd break it down into two groups; one group that will gush on-and-on about said topic, and the other group that will hate till the cows come home for a whole spectrum of reasons.

Where am I going with this.

I will review the movie, He's Just Not That Into You.

(Do yourself a favor and go watch the trailer AND the bit about the cliches not found in the movie).

Wait. What? McOysty is going to review a movie? He doesn't do that, does he? I mean, I know he's written a humorous review of a Hilary Duff album, but a 'chick flick'? Does this mean he watched it? And liked it? Did he watch it before or after being dared to write a review? Did he go by himself? Is life really good? Who is this teacher that keeps sending me parenting emails from California? Does my car really need to have it's oil changed at 9am tomorrow morning? How much work should one expect to do on their last week on a client project? Can somebody hook me up with a TTC metropass for the month of March? Why do birds suddenly appear? What's a good 1am snack?

All that, and much less, will be answered in the next post. So sit back, relax, but not too much, because you'll want to be here when it hits the internets. It's going to be legend...

...ARY. Legendary. Exclamation mark.

On second thought, I might be hyping this post a little much, to the point where my writing abilities probably won't back me up. Now, I don't want this to be the biggest letdown since finding out about Chris Brown, so you know, just swing by about a week from now, you know, on your own time. Whatever.

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Adversity builds character. Character can take you places money can't.

Alright, I'm with ya. Hear hear!

Your values is a disarray, prioritizin' horribly; unhappy with the riches cuz you piss poor morally; ignorin' all prior advice and forewarnin' and we mighty full of ourselves all of a sudden, aren't we?

So he doesn't like ending words with the letter G, but are we really gonna hold that against him? If you are, you'll have to lock me away too, I just used 'gonna' instead of 'going to'.

And one blurb that has nothing to do with any of the above, and it's not a T.I. quote.

I like to use an economics and finance term to describe the waste of time; the term is switching cost. Switching cost usually refers to the cost and time and money of switching from one provider to another. In the case of multitasking, people feel that they are doing multiple things at the same time, but they are not. The brain is incapable of focusing on multiple tasks at the same time. When people attempt to multitask, what they are really doing is switching rapidly back and forth between tasks. Because of this, I prefer to refer to multitasking as switchtasking. It is because of these switches that people lose time in the switching cost. In this way, switchtasking causes us to be exponentially less productive. - D.C. (but this man hooked me up, so I'ma (<-- that's not a typo, that's how I say it) cite him too)

Boom. Headshot. Live your life, folks, live your life.

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I went to deposit some funds into my brand new shiny TFSA.

*Sidenote* - Mc Hammer's 'U Can't Touch This' but instead of 'touch', substitute the word 'tax'. Hit single, right? *End Sidenote*

I wanted to get an access card so I wouldn't have to provide ID everytime (it's basically a debit card). Now, I have had prior dealings with this particular bank, so the process was supposed to be quite simple.

Teller - Can I see two pieces of ID?
McOysty - Sure thing. *Produces a driver's license and credit card*
Teller - Oh...not this credit card. Would you happen to have the one you used in your previous dealings with us?

Hold on to something, you're about to travel through time.

------THREE HOURS AGO------

McOysty - Hi credit card company, I'd like to cancel this credit card.
Teller - No problem! I'll do that for you right now. Would you like to open up a new account?
McOysty - Nope. I already opened a new one, which is why I don't need this one no mo'.
Teller - Alright! Have a nice day.
McOysty - I think I will.

I then proceed to victoriously cut up the canceled credit card, accompanied by a small victory dance (a little two step).

------BACK TO THE FUTURE------

McOysty - -_- (I really made that face)

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When I say, "February 14, 2009", do you think of:

1. Valentines Day

or

2. NBA All Star Skills Competition

Your answer to this question could determine the fate of this world.

(my answer is, "February 14th? That's a Saturday isn't it? I love Saturdays. Or the half of Saturday I'm actually awake for. Plus, isn't that two days before Family Day? Pfft, name me a greater holiday-that-celebrates-nothing-because-I-celebrate-family-everyday than Family Day. I think I'm gonna go eat some ice cream now." Sometimes, I have a problem with staying on script.)

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