*Preface - Although, I probably couldn't get away with stuff that was released 5 years ago. Don't worry, you'll understand if you keep reading.

I am a music aficionado.

I'll wait as you attempt to use a dictionary.

*slow and steady toe tapping*

I enjoy music so much, that sometimes I'll buy an album just because a store has it in stock and on display. This explains why I have a Hilary Duff album.

*shocked faces*

I'm kidding.

*I'm not*

Album Review: Hilary Duff - Metamorphosis



Track One - So Yesterday
This track is like a much less annoying sounding version of Avril Lavigne's smash hit, "Complicated". And filled with sagely advice, examples including:

"Come tomorrow, it will seem so yesterday" - Clearly, Hilary has studied up on the theory of relativity, and how no matter what the actual date is, come tomorrow, today will always seem like yesterday. It's pretty deep. You might want to think about this for a bit.

*Light bulb flashes on*

"You can change your clothes, if you wanna" - Only if you wanna! If you happen to be in the immediate vicinity of my nose, please wanna. Please.

"You can change your life, if you wanna" - I'llllllllllllllllll tell you what I want, what I really really want.

Why is a Spice Girls song stuck in my head? I may need professional help.

Track Two - Come Clean
The purchase of this album could be completely justified by the strength of this track alone.

I only have a tiny issue with one line in this song, "trying to fit a square into a circle was my life". Now please consider three basic scenarios:

Only in scenario two is it actually hard to fit that square inside that circle. And even then, it only takes a little thinking-outside-the-box (hello, Photoshop!) to fit that square inside that circle.

If Hilary was trying to show that her life has been hard, she needed to pick a better analogy. And not be so filthy rich.

Track Three - Workin' It Out
As a rule, I try not to listen to songs that talk about things my body is so violently against. Working out, happens to make that short list. Sean Kingston contemplating suicide also makes that list. Milk is one of the few exceptions because they make hilarious commercials.

Track Four - Little Voice
Is she going to sing using a little voice? A chipmunk voice?

Nope. Too bad, it might have improved the track.

Instead she's talking about the little voice in her head. The voice in my head speaks a language I have not learned. It gets frustratingly confusing sometimes.

Track Five - Where Did I Go Right?
She puts a positive spin on the oft used saying, but manages to make the song very sad sounding. Contradictory messages, but still less confusing that the foreign little voice in my head.

Track Six - Anywhere But Here
Yet another misleading song title. Hilary would NOT want to be anywhere but here.

Oh, this track is amazing. Nonsensical lyrics about being so crazy in love notwithstanding.

Track Seven - The Math
"If you can't do the math
Then get out of the equation
I am calling you back
This is * 69"
Is it a minus or a plus
Does enough equal enough
If you can't do the math
Then nothing adds up
Tell me why I'm here"

G.E.N.I.U.S.

As an addendum, if you can't do the math, go directly back to first grade (do not even THINK about passing Go).

Track Eight - Love Just Is
This reminds me. Anybody that says, "it is what it is", should be immediately kicked in the shins. It's the polite way of saying "too bad, so sad, sucka".

"But the waiter spit in my soup!"
It is what it is.

"But my car was parked and HE backed into ME!"
It is what it is.

Track Nine - Sweet Sixteen
*This is a public service announcement to inform you that Buttug, err, Buttug McOysty is AFK, jumping up and down to this song*

Track Ten - Party Up
Getting back to the last track, it just makes me want to turn 16 all over again, every year. Absolutely my favorite song on this album.

I mean.

Absolutely my favorite song on this album...

...so far. (roffle waffles)

Track Eleven - Metamorphosis
Title track! Hilary documenting the transition between a larva and an adult. Fascinating.

Track Twelve - Inner Strength
As if one work out song wasn't enough. Now this is just personal. My chicken arms can only take so much verbal abuse.

Skip!

Track Thirteen - Why Not
Hilary waxes philosophical. And had she phrased it in the form of a question, I would've answered "because, not".

Probably not the best way to the end off the album. Making people think too hard. That's like assigning work to an employee on a Friday. It's against the non-written but well-understood boundary rules.

Wrap-Up
Best Hilary Duff album ever? Definitely.
Best album ever? ...

...Debatable.