*Preface - On this bright, shining day, some 5 years ago, Buttug McOysty first created the url "www.buttugnoraa.blogspot.com" and posted his first post. 5 years later, cha' boy is still going at it harder, better, faster and stronger. And on this fifth anniversary of things being written, people being put in place, and random facts being spewed at speeds greater than that of light,I finally come clean and explain to you...

What In The Blue Cheesed Moon Is A 'Buttug McOysty'

You know you want to know.

In fact, I know you know that you want to know.

This story goes back before the dawn of this blog. Allow me to conveniently break the pseudonym into two parts.

Buttug - Short hand for "butt-ugly".

Think Biggie Smalls. A 6'3'', weighing over 300 pounds, rapper, being associated with the word small. The contradictory naming principle applies in my case.

The story goes, someone once was so insecure about their looks relative to mine that they had to put me down. But you know, they could never bring me down. Did you realize, that I'm a champion?

I eat Frosted Flakes for breakfast.

McOysty - An Oyster, but delicious, like the food from McDonalds.

Because a contradictory name wouldn't be complete without the contradiction itself in the name. Again, please refer to Biggie Smalls. It makes you stop and think to yourself, "Self, that is one heckuva confusing name. I better go talk to this guy to see what he's all about".

Also, for the record, I had the 'Mc' thing way before Grey's Anatomy swooped in and made it popular. Although, to be fair, we ripped it off McDonalds, or McMaster University. I'm not entirely sure.

The choice of depicting me as an oyster was not one that I had control of. But check the oyster up top in my fancy blog header. Isn't it vomit-inducing adorable?

Buttug McOysty.

Delicious.

Uhm.

That was a lot shorter than I envisioned it to be.

But that's okay. I've been here for five years, and I'll be here for at least another few. Plenty of time to fit in a few more words here and there.

Minor template tweaks to come. Sidebar links ARE SET IN STONE. STOP COMPLAINING. YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE.

I've done a lot of things in collaboration with this blog. I kept track of first year fire alarms. I told countless jokes. I've made Internet friends, that I then converted to real friends. I famously stormed out. I gloriously returned. I had the smallest of hands in getting an independent t-shirt business off the ground. I have written up countless lists. I've also gone back and re-read a lot of my work and realized how full of crap I was at any given time.

But that's me. McOysty.

Sharing is caring.

Snakes on a Plane!

Crank that Soulja Boy (youtube it yourself).

Good night. And good luck.