Awwwwwwwww you know who it is. It's Buttug McOysty. If you ain't know, you betta Google me baby. Word to Teyana Taylor.

If that last sentence left you in the dust, it probably means you haven't heard the song. And if that is really the case, you should go sit on the toilet and ponder long and hard about where you are in life.

Then click here to listen to it.

As this is a reentry-to-the-Internets post, this'll be shorter and sweeter than a dwarf cupcake. That doesn't even have to make sense to sound delicious.

Quick Shots from my Vacation in the Dominican Republic
- locals consider all Chinese people "Jackie Chan's brother/cousin"
- locals are also blatantly sexist to the point where the girls had to ask for everything because the guys were being ignored
- ingesting too many local foods/liquids containing coconut leads to diarrhea (known as Puerto Plata splatter, with splatter pronounced splatta...like the gangsters say it)
- "Oh my mother" is the equivalent of "Oh my God"
- "I like your mouth" is not only one of the worst pick up lines ever, it has the ability to creep the heebie-jeebies out of a girl
- the sun burns
- just about 70% of the DR claims Catholicism as their religion
- the other 30% believe in rum! (badaboom CHING!)
- I seriously thought this dance was their national anthem because of how many times the resort folks performed it
- then, as we got addicted to performing it with them, I reconsidered, and thought of it more as their SouljaBoyTellEm
- what else...what else
- all men over the age of 50 that insist on wearing Speedos should be summarily tried for crimes against humanity
- I am a fantastic para-sailer (sailor?), the Muhammad Ali of the recreational activity if you will (and you will), if only parasailing was an Olympic sport
- if you can't respect that, your whole perspective is wack, maybe you'll love me when I fade to black