*Preface - Still catching up with the half-written posts before I went dark.

Quickly flipping through a random cross-section of television programming, it should only take the average human being about 30 seconds before they realize that 99% of the shows and advertisements on air aren't worth their time.

Of course it is unfair to simply disregard that one percent television you can safely watch without wanting to run full speed into a brick wall. What's that saying. Something about sifting through layers of trash to get to the gold. I digress.

Falling under that 1% of superb programming, a particular spectacle that occurs once a year. A display of emotions, and life passions, coupled with tense, anxiety-riddled moments. Highly educational, and highly entertaining. It features self-imploding meltdowns, as well as life-altering triumphant victories.

As usual, being purposefully vague before the jump is a tactic I'm proud of.

The Scripps National Spelling Bee!

Don't believe me? Think I've finally gone off the deep end?

Witness, in 38 seconds, the transformation of an individual from dork to champion.

Faaaaaaantastic!

Spelling has permeated into every fiber of our culture. Ignoring the fact that word games, such as Scrabble or crosswords, are just about the best games ever, take for instance, popular music.

You know, the songs where artists are too lazy to think up a real chorus and just spell out their names or random objects instead?

Hi Fergie!

*waves*

Not to pick on hip-hop, but that's the genre a vast majority of the perpetrators fall under (my umbrella, ella, ella) Like this classic hook, taken from, well I'm sure you'll figure it out:

"Its the D the I the D the D the Y
The D the I the D
It's Diddy, (Hold Up) It's Diddy (That's crazy)"

Check again! It's "Diddydid". That's what you spelled! For really!

But I'll let it slide like a playground fixture. You know, before I got into "black" music, that line kept me up at night. I just couldn't figure out how somebody could misspell their own name on a song that became a hit, raking in more dollars than I'll ever see in my lifetime (no Jay-Z).

But let me tell you, hip-hop artists are not the only ones guilty of the crime of lazy lyricism. I mean, even us churched folks have the "B-I-B-L-E" song and the much more annoying "I am a C" song. And while this doesn't fully count, but the Village People had no problem spelling out an institution!

And who is to blame for all this madness?

...wait for it...

...it's coming...

...have you seen the movie "Knocked Up"? It's hilarious...

Mickey Mouse.

Thank you.

Good night and good luck.