Wednesday, March 26, 2008
I Cover A Lot Of Material Here
*Preface - So pay attention. I should probably research the proper methodology and usages of a title and preface. But I'm too busy being aawesome. Sue me (please don't).
A month ago, an opening for a position in the endoscopy unit at the hospital I volunteer at was brought to my attention. I instantly considered it an upgrade over pushing around a snack cart. Not only did it fit into my schedule much better, but patient-care > food services in my books. I didn't even have to think twice about switching over.
But let me tell you a lil' sumthin' sumthin' 'bout 'ndoscopy.
That last apostrophe was totally unnecessary. But for consistency sakes, it had to be done. And what's done is did. You dig?
No? That's okay too.
Endoscopy.
Viewing the insides of your body by sticking a flexible camera tube apparatus through a bodily orifice. At least that's how I loosely define it. Contact a real doctor if you really want to know more. Just don't talk mention pediatrics. It makes him cry like a girl.
The aftereffects of an endoscopic procedure include feeling bloated. Really bloated. We ordered too much at an all-you-can-eat Japanese food restaurant and don't want to pay per piece so now we must all eat 10 pieces more than we would've liked, bloated. Like you just inhaled so much air that you could float in the sky for about five seconds before coming down to unleash an amazing barrage of smash attacks on your unsuspecting opponent(s)..., errr, bloated.
Endoscopy.
The patients are asked to stick around for 20-30 minutes after the procedure is performed, to ensure that the procedure did not cause any unintended side-effects, and so the patients can pass that gas.
I wouldn't describe the aroma of the endoscopy unit as horrible, but it's definitely got a different flavor to it than the rest of the hospital.
With that said, I still relish the opportunity I get to volunteer with that unit. Simply put, the
Oh. And the fact that I think I'm helping people.
But back to the pretty nurse that smiles at me. We had our first disagreement this past Tuesday. I sent a patient to the waiting room because their procedure did not require the use of a stretcher. She disagreed and wanted me to go bring the patient back. Of course, because of my volunteer status, I complied with her request and went to go grab the patient without second-guessing her decision. And then it happened.
She walked briskly out after me to call me back.
It was like one of those emotion-ridden break-up moments where one person starts to turn their back and walk away from the other, but then the other person steps up and says, "Wait."
It wasn't long before we were making glib remarks at what just happened (a volunteer pwning a nurse). And you know what they say about getting past the first fight?
No, really, do you? Because I don't. But I'd like to know.
Conventional wisdom leads me to think that it would be about moving onto bigger and better things. Or bigger and badder fights. Ye' would say it made him stronger.
Too bad she doesn't know my name.