Showing posts with label Just Random. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
I'm Bringing Dotted Lines Back
Thanks to the upgraded archive menu over there to the left (to the left), I now know the exact breakdown of posts I write every year (and even every month). And based on that I know, and you know, that I not only gave 65 less posts last year (2006 for those of you hiding under a big rock) as compared to 2005, but at the rate I'm posting this year, I'll be well off my totals for 2006 when I should really be shooting for 2005 numbers.
I used a calculator for both calculations because mental math is hard just to be sure.
As such, I feel the need for my first double post of 2007. Please click ...
Told you milk was bad for you. Yet another reason I refuse to drink milk, even if I devour a stupendous amount of other dairy related products such as ice-cream, cream in my coffee, and yogurt.
Um. Does this render my point ... Moo-t?
A Walt Disney employee, dressed up as the Winnie The Pooh's friend Tigger, struck a child during a photographing session. I don't think the video is as funny as your imagination, but if you really must see for yourselves, it really isn't hard to find it on YouTube.
To be fair, the child learned a valuable lesson that day. You DON'T MESS WITH TIGERS. Whether it be in a caged animal in a zoo, an amazing player on golf course, or a supposedly friendly character in the magical land of Walt Disney, a tiger is still carnivorous. And now that child knows.
iPod. YouTube. Wii. My keen observation of naming trends tells me that the next big product/company will be named OUR-something.
Speaking of Apple, did everyone get to see how they re-invented the phone? Not only is it a phone, it's a wide-screen iPod, and it carries Internet capabilities only rivaled by BlackBerry's. AND IT'S TOUCHSCREEN. Simply stunning.
Now, please excuse me as I need to dispose of a skunk that happened to wander over to one of the windows of my house and die. The smell has permeated every nook and cranny of my house. I'm afraid that I may wake up smelling funky tomorrow, so I will most probably dress to impress, blaming any traces of skunk on a cubicle neighbor. I mean how can anyone dressed like a million bucks smell like garbage? My story wouldn't be cross-examined once.
Goodnight. And good riddance.
Posted in
Just Random
posted by Buttug McOysty
. 8:18 PM .
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Bloggers Outlook On Life
*Administrative Note* - I wrote this post about two YEARS ago. It was for a side project that never really got off the ground. We were young and brimming with ideas. Just wanted to let you know, in case some of the, uh, no, in case anything mentioned seems obsolete, even though I attempted to modernize the post with small touch-ups here and there.
You come home tired from work/school, fire up your desktop/laptop like you'd fire up a barbecue, hop over to your Blogger/Xanga account in a fashion that would make a little bunny rabbit proud, and prepare to completely rip into the "idiot who pissed you off today". And a lot of the times, the star of the post is a random stranger whose presence will never grace yours again. And that makes you feel better about the verbal hatred on the verge of being keyed out.
But allow me to make you squirm in your seat. What if today, YOU were that random human being who pissed someone else off? Go ahead, reminisce about all the not-so-considerate doings you pulled off today. I'll wait.
(humming the tune of Surfin' USA)
Congratulations, you're a certified jerk. Go on, give yourself a pat on the back. You know, one of those comforting, "thats okay" pats. Or if you're proud, go on and pat yourself on the back as well, and keep grinning like an idiot.
I'm not here to judge, because we're all guilty of selfish acts, such as not holding the door open for the old lady ten feet behind you, with ten dozen grocery bags hanging off her right arm, using her left hand to clutch her cane, and trying desperately to catch up to you because she knows there is no way she's getting through that door without your help. Not that I'm speaking from personal experience.
See the reality is that someone you've never met is most probably blogging about you. What comes around, goes around. Circle theory (please don't cite me yet, it hasn't been patented). Doesn't it make you slightly self-conscious? Are you running to get a towel as you sweat profusely from every part of your body, or is that just me?
I'd wager that most people don't think twice about being the subject of a blog rant. Which is odd because in an image-driven society, it should follow that people would be very concerned with their appearance.
Like looking fly at the local grocery store, because you could bump into some people you know while you're examining prospective produce. And you don't want to be the guy who was out grocery shopping by themselves.
By the way, what is wrong with going grocery shopping by yourself? And for that matter, what is wrong with going to watch a movie by yourself? Or enjoying fine dining for one? Or going outside to walk the town with only your own delightful company? (yes, my own company IS delightful thank you very much) Going on a vacation in Hans Solo fashion? Was this whole post defensively written to justify things I do/want to do? Was it? And more importantly did it work?
My own self consciousness led me to buy a magazine that promised a way to "Look 10 Years Younger -- No Surgery,", 'cause I TOTALLY wanna look like an eleven year old.
Posted in
Just Random
posted by Buttug McOysty
. 10:42 PM .
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
I'm Not Giving the 'Read More' Option On This
*Administrative Note* - I wrote this post about a week ago. Just wanted to let you know, in case some of the technologies mentioned seem obsolete.
def. Ballin' [Adj].
1. Living in affluence/wealth.
2. *insert jump shot motion*
Is it possible to justify purchasing a Nintendo Wii just to play Zelda? Two player games are no fun now that my brother is away, living the life (or is it MY life) up in Queen's (BROOKLYNNN ... not).
Speaking of spending money on presents, the families my parents roll with decided that this year, the long held tradition of each kid getting presents from every other family will instead be replaced by a festivity commonly known as "Secret Santa".
I say "commonly known as" because I am convinced the creator of Secret Santa probably called it "Operation Save Your Money". Allow me to prove this mathematically. I have purposely denoted the mathematical section of this post for those that want to skip over it for whatever reason (if you already see the concept, or if you are unable to grasp the merging of alphabets (not the cereal, but still delicious) with numbers in what I affectionately call algebra).
Secret Santa requires that a minimum of three people play, or else there would be no "secret". Therefore, the amount of people, henceforth denoted as n+1, with the +1 representing yourself (because you count as a real person too, touching isn't it?), is required to be greater than or equal to 3.
1. Without SS (Secret Santa, not Stupefying Stupidity), you should be responsible for buying n presents, unless you plan on being the jerk who gave the shaft to someone, which I can thankfully discount in this magical environment I created to make my equations work. Mathematics, McOysty style. Ignorantly educating childrens all around the universe since 1837.
Not wanting to be known as the cheap-scape who only spent 2 dollars on each gift, you spend an average of $20 per gift.
In total, you pay $20n.
2. With SS, you would buy ONE present, with a general cap of $30 (manipulating my environment to suit my equations (and real life in this case) is fun), thus ensuring you spend AT MOST, thirty dollars.
Given n >= 3, $20n > $30.
Q. to the ED.
Then, to ensure that us kids come away happy with one present, as opposed to other years where we expected and received a set amount of presents (number of families present minus our own), the childrens, myself included, are to draft up a top five under $30 (not to be mistaken with People's Top 25 under 25) list for their Secret Santa's to buy from.
Now to bring this full circle, because I'm oddly in the spirit of giving a well-rounded post that connects the beginning with the end.
Number one on my list, which I fully expect to be completely ignored by my Secret Santa, is, "Nintendo Wii - I will cover the difference, good luck".
*Post-Edit*
I rethought my list and concluded that a parent might take my demand for a Nintendo Wii the wrong way (I don't think they'd understand the joke). I quickly replaced that with a book (classy).
Posted in
Just Random
posted by Buttug McOysty
. 7:48 PM .
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
I Know Me
"No matter where you go you are what you are, player."
Truer words have been spoken, but none as strikingly relevant. While it may be easy to alter personas to blend in with different groups of people (we've all done this to some extent), when faced with adversity, it is widely known that people's true colors tend to shine through. The person underneath those clothes (no Shakira).
The inner you.
Today, the inner me stood up to attention, as I proudly, and unforcedly, wrote and passed an exam that was not required for anything. A free will examination.
You see, you can take the student away from the school and plop him down in front of a computer monitor to make the company some money, heck you can even take his freedom away from 9am-6pm (would it have been too easy to include something to the effect of "taking my breath away" here?), but my DNA dictates that I am Asian, and you will never be able to take the student mentality (ie. the desire to GET MARKS) away from me.
I do realize that the majority of my friends are currently facing the daunting task of writing three exams in the next two days, or something ridiculous to that effect, and the fact that I'm posting about ONE optional exam that I educatedly guessed my way through may infuriate them.
But honestly now, you really should be reading the textbooks instead of the Internets. As the Beach Boys once happily sang, be true to your school (rah Rah RAH!)
Good night, and good luck.
Posted in
Just Random
posted by Buttug McOysty
. 7:27 PM .
Monday, December 04, 2006
Monday Means Me Mumbling Mindlessly
Talk about total non-creativity, but it just dawned on me that the NFL team based in Cleveland is named the "Browns". And I think the only way they should be allowed to continue on with that name is if they embrace it full heartedly. Which, in my books, means that their equally uninspired logo of a football helmet...
... needs to be changed from orange (?) to brown, and their jerseys also need to be painted a deep color of brown. Of course, then the ever so popular adage of "what you see is what you get" will apply, as the Cleveland Browns will look, and play, like turds.
Speaking of, did the memo informing me that Kevin Federline was to be on NBC's game show 1 vs 100 last Friday get lost? I guess my imagination will suffice:
Bob Saget (the host) - Hey everybody, welcome again to one, versus, one HUNDRED! Behind me is the mob who is here to beat the player and win their money!
*general hootin' and hollerin' from the mob*
Saget - Let's meet the player! All the way from Canada, we have the awkward, the aawesome, Buttug McOysty.
Me - H..h...hi.
Saget - And tonight, in the mob, we have Kevin Federline! As a favor, we let him on this show, but in return, he has promised this will be his last publicity stunt ever and will fade into obscurity after tonight, and I'm sure he will be eliminated quite rapidly.
*applause from the audience*
K-Fed - Glad to be here. *munch munch munch*
Saget - Where did you get the pancakes?
K-Fed-Ex - Haven't you heard? I'm the pancake man! Pancakes for breakfast, pancakes for lunch, pancakes everyday! Even on December.
Saget - "December" is not a day of the week.
K-Fed - Oh! My bad dawg, I knew that, fo shizzle.
Saget - Spectacular. Let's play this game shall we?. McOysty, are you ready?
Me - Y..y...
Saget - Mob, are you ready?
*general hootin' and hollerin' from the mob*
Saget - Alright! It's one, versus, one HUNDRED! First question! What is the first letter of the alphabet?! Press, A for 'A', B for 'B', and C for 'C'.
McOysty - I'm going to say 'A', Bob.
Saget - Let's take a look at that answer...YES! YOU GOT IT RIGHT! AMAZING! Let's find out how many got it wrong for $1000.
Feder-loser - I think it's just me Bob!
Saget - What did you answer Kevin?
Kevin - Well, I really wanted to push 'C' but then I remembered that I actually didn't know which of these letters in front of me was 'C'! So then I wrote down on this piece of paper here, "Thre", and hopefully you'll accept that answer!
Saget - It's spelled "three", and can we please cut to commercials? I'm going to need some time to comprehend this stupidity.
Me - This, Stupefying Stupidity? Ha-ha.
Posted in
Just Random
posted by Buttug McOysty
. 7:27 PM .