*Administrative Note* - I wrote this post about a week ago. Just wanted to let you know, in case some of the technologies mentioned seem obsolete.

def. Ballin' [Adj].
1. Living in affluence/wealth.
2. *insert jump shot motion*

Is it possible to justify purchasing a Nintendo Wii just to play Zelda? Two player games are no fun now that my brother is away, living the life (or is it MY life) up in Queen's (BROOKLYNNN ... not).

Speaking of spending money on presents, the families my parents roll with decided that this year, the long held tradition of each kid getting presents from every other family will instead be replaced by a festivity commonly known as "Secret Santa".

I say "commonly known as" because I am convinced the creator of Secret Santa probably called it "Operation Save Your Money". Allow me to prove this mathematically. I have purposely denoted the mathematical section of this post for those that want to skip over it for whatever reason (if you already see the concept, or if you are unable to grasp the merging of alphabets (not the cereal, but still delicious) with numbers in what I affectionately call algebra).

---------------------- Math Commencing ----------------------

Secret Santa requires that a minimum of three people play, or else there would be no "secret". Therefore, the amount of people, henceforth denoted as n+1, with the +1 representing yourself (because you count as a real person too, touching isn't it?), is required to be greater than or equal to 3.

1. Without SS (Secret Santa, not Stupefying Stupidity), you should be responsible for buying n presents, unless you plan on being the jerk who gave the shaft to someone, which I can thankfully discount in this magical environment I created to make my equations work. Mathematics, McOysty style. Ignorantly educating childrens all around the universe since 1837.

Not wanting to be known as the cheap-scape who only spent 2 dollars on each gift, you spend an average of $20 per gift.

In total, you pay $20n.

2. With SS, you would buy ONE present, with a general cap of $30 (manipulating my environment to suit my equations (and real life in this case) is fun), thus ensuring you spend AT MOST, thirty dollars.

Given n >= 3, $20n > $30.

Q. to the ED.

---------------------- Math Over ----------------------

Then, to ensure that us kids come away happy with one present, as opposed to other years where we expected and received a set amount of presents (number of families present minus our own), the childrens, myself included, are to draft up a top five under $30 (not to be mistaken with People's Top 25 under 25) list for their Secret Santa's to buy from.

Now to bring this full circle, because I'm oddly in the spirit of giving a well-rounded post that connects the beginning with the end.

Number one on my list, which I fully expect to be completely ignored by my Secret Santa, is, "Nintendo Wii - I will cover the difference, good luck".

*Post-Edit*
I rethought my list and concluded that a parent might take my demand for a Nintendo Wii the wrong way (I don't think they'd understand the joke). I quickly replaced that with a book (classy).