Just returned from the local* collision reporting center. Don't worry, my mother's accident was minor, the car will need repairs, but physically speaking, my mother is doing just fine. Just a little mad at herself.

I have previously not set foot in a collision reporting center, due to my superior driving skills, instincts and anticipation. The RCMP Safety Bear** would be so proud of me.

But allow me to describe the police officers at work there.

Officer Sass
This particular officer was giving a guy a hard time, even threatening to send him back to take his driving tests again. I tuned into the semi-heated exchange a little late, but it had something to do with the guy reporting an accident a week late, and the officer insulting his intelligence. I figured the officer was manufacturing some drama into an otherwise dull work-life. Why do I say this? Because of...

Officer Word-Games-Are-Fun
This officer was sitting behind his big, empty, desk, front and center, doing the daily crossword puzzle. My kind of officer. I totally want to be him when I grow up. Except, better at crosswords. He looked hopelessly stuck.

Officer Wake-Me-Up-When-September-Ends
He was fast asleep, in the classic one-arm-propped-up sleeping-at-work posture, because the face-down-pose is too conspicuous.

And finally...

Officer Sass-ette
This female officer was responding to incoming calls to the reporting center. Here's how the exchange I caught went:

Excuse me sir, but I have plenty of other work to get to, so please just come in, and report the accident.

*slams phone down*

*walks over to Officer-Word-Games-Are-Fun, rolls her eyes, and proceeds to do absolutely nothing for the rest of my time spent at the center*

Fantastic. How much of my taxes goes to paying these guys again? And what kind of qualifications does one need to become of these tax-dollar-sucking-expenditures? Much like Joe, I wanna know.

*By local, I actually mean a good twenty minute drive away. But that was the one "in my area" according to a pamphlet an officer handed my mom at the scene of the accident.

**I think I was thinking about Smokey Bear at the time, forgetting Smokey Bear only cares about fire safety and would totally leave you be if your car accident didn't involve fire.