Thursday, August 02, 2007
If You Look, You Shall Find
I've been talking a lot about work here this week. But in the spirit of the long weekend, which for me starts now, I figured I'd switch it up. Not necessarily out of necessity, but more so out of intrigue.
Being mysterious is one of my finer qualities.
I'm going to take this time to address some searches people have been performing on Google that has resulted in them landing on my space.
*Sidenote* - Have you been using Blackle? I thought I told you that we won't stop to use Blackle. Get on with it. *End Sidenote*
Search Query One - "questions to ask to get to know somebody"
Look. It's not a secret that I'm socially awkward. If I knew how to carry on a conversation, or knew how to get to know somebody, I wouldn't have to come crawling back to the Internet to make friends.
Plus, I thought the emergence of services such as Facebook and Twitter, and before them, the ridiculous 100 things about yourself blog meme, stemmed from the fact that people no longer wanted to ask people things and have things asked of them. They would rather find out from some news feed or wall posting. And laugh through albums upon albums of incriminating pictures of other people. And accurately assess how many friends can be claimed based on friend requests.
Talk is cheap.
But personally, this doesn't change things. Let's just face facts. It makes no sense for a search for that particular phrase should land someone at my page. I'm going to be, hopelessly, socially awkward FOREVER.
Me and Common are Finding Forever. Together.
You should probably just hit play and let this run in the background for the rest of the post. I'm going to be discussing more music next week. Just try it. It's hip-hop, but I can almost guarantee you'll either enjoy it, or be indifferent about it. But you won't hate it.
Search Query Two - "why people got so angry when somebody has body odors"
Appalling. What does it say when someone can stumble across my site when searching with atrocious grammar? That my site is riddled with grammatical errors? At least I have spelling down.
Color. Colour. Color. Colour. Forget it.
Everybody has body odor. Don't deny it. It's how you choose to mask said odor that can either be unnoticed or frowned upon. It's another one of life's hygiene factors. Masked body odor is rarely mentioned, much less complimented, but once unmasked, or improperly masked, it is then that people become unruly.
And it's probably because the odor is invading their personal space. The odor permeates through the public air to stimulate smelling sensations, conjuring memories of other unfortunate incidents that involved bad aromas (that night of non-stop puking, or that skunk that was run over on the road). The air around any given person is rightfully that person's airspace. If airspaces are abided by, problems such as annoying smokers, gas-passers, and people that haven't been introduced to deodorant, would cease to be problems.
Personal space is a big issue. People believe they are entitled to a certain amount of personal space. Just go to your local grocery store, grab a stick of gum, and line up in a queue without making a motion for the bar that separates your stick of gum from the purchases of the person in front of you. Keep it at a relatively safe distance though, with plenty of open space in between the items, and stand beside your stick of gum. AND STILL watch the person in front get completely flustered as the reach for the separator bar for you.
Say no thank you when they do.
Search Query Three - "Kicked In The Nuts" - Google Images
This has got to be my all-time most-viewed post. Three years after the fact my boy (the one giving the peace sign did the sacking) got pwn'd, the picture is still in demand.
Guess I'm not the only one that finds non-serious injuries to the groinal area absolutely hilarious. I'm positive I was shaking from fits of laughter at the time of the picture.
Search Query Four - "who paid for shaq's big challenge"
Shaq.
Search Query Five - "analysis of the lyrics from r. kellys i believe i can fly mean"
Roffle. Somebody was looking for hidden connotations in his lyrics, especially since he's finally going to stand trial for being a pervert (that is me putting things lightly).
Or, somebody just really doesn't get the inspirational meaning of believing one can fly. Go back to school. Learn things.
Oh wait, I see the drug reference myself. I take it back.
Either way, I don't think I broke down this song like I did Fergie's, so I don't understand. Google, why are you directing unwarranted traffic my way? I think it's time to reevaluate this search algorithm of yours. It doesn't seem to be working.
Traffic doesn't do me any good. If you're going to direct anything unwarranted at me, it might as well be cash.
Or cookies.
Search Query Six - Why is this post so long!?
If you managed to figure out that wasn't something someone searched for, but rather a topic I needed to address anyways ... good. for. you.
Well, I think a sleek, new laptop may be arriving at my humble abode tomorrow, and me and new computers don't do so well together (think baking soda and vinegar), so if I manage to get her up and running, I'll throw something up here (obligatory photos of the packaging, and the product). But if it explodes in my face (inevitable), then I won't be back here for a while, so this extended post should more than make up for it.
Kiddies that don't have summer jobs and are reading this (I see you), ENTERTAIN ME tomorrow.
Goodnight. And good luck.