Why is it so icy?! Is Bobby Drake controlling the weather in Kingston!?

I could hear the commentators in my head today as I walked on campus:

Dick Button: And turning onto University Ave, Buttug starts out with some fancy footwork into a ...
Peggy Flemming: Dick, I believe that's a modified sit spin, a "back spin" where one is flat on his back, spinning
Dick Button: That is excellent form. And look now, it seems he is attempting a death spiral, BY HIMSELF!
Peggy Flemming: Dick, that is a very ambitious move right thurr..*ahem* right there
Dick Button: Yes indeed, the death spiral is already dangerous to pull off without having to avoid oncoming traffic.
Peggy Flemming: It looks like he's setting up for the big finish...
Dick Button: Here we go...a double lutz, a double salchow, right into a triple axle, and, have mercy, a quad! Perfect use of the downhill slope there on University Ave.
Peggy Flemming: Buttug is SO gay right now.

I appologize to any male figure skaters out there, just because you figure skate, it does not mean you are gay. That was an unfair stereotype on my part. I'm just not diggin the ice right now. And slightly jealous that I can't gracefully twirl four times in mid-air on command.

Alright. Kicking it in high gear now. Guess I should give a double post just to show I'm definitely back in the black. Or should I say, in the negro.

NO I wasn't being derogatory there. Just that 'negro' is Spanish for 'black'. So here's Buttug's super-efficient "learn Spanish after reading a few bullet points" course for ya'll to learn from. It's okay, I realize the first day of school is over and that you missed a bit already, but you know why we calls it Late Registration don't you? CUZ WE TAKING YOU ... BACK TO SCHOOL. Let's go.

1. We the Spanish like to pronounce every letter that we write down. It'd be a waste of a letter wouldn't it? So no confusing "silent h's". If I put down jkl, then you will pronounce ALL THREE LETTERS? Are we clear?! Just repeat after me. "JKL". Moving on.

2. Double l's and double r's are considered letters unto their own. Confused much? Well I won't even TRY to pronounce the double l's, but for the double r's, just roll your r's. Simple? Well apparantly not if you're asian. Here's how it went down in class:

Prof: Okay, repeat after me. Carro.
Class: Carrrrrrrrrro.
Prof: Anybody having trouble rolling the r's?
*5 Asians put up their hands.*
Prof: Don't you remember when you used to play with toy cars and rolled your r's to simulate the sound cars make?
(Events from here on down may not have actually occured)
Me: NO BECAUSE I CAN'T FRRRRIGIN ROLL MY R's. OH WAIT I JUST DID IT MY BAD YO.
Prof: "Yo" in Spanish actually means "I". So your sentence didn't make any sense.
Me: That's retarded. Ah crap, the rollin of the r's are gone again.

3. V and B sound the same when spoken. That's rrrretarrrrded (I'm a quick learner I am). Bery retarded.

That's it. You have now been cultured. As Stephen Colbert would say, "You're welcome, Nation".