I sauntered into the company gym today like it was any regular day, ready to take on the "weight" of the world, to Kick and Push in the physical sense, only to be met by a colorful wall of balloons and streamers hanging from the ceiling that not only make me not want to work out with intensity, it made me want to put on a party-hat and sing happy birthday.

September 14th. Member Appreciation Day at the company gym.

Of course, everyone likes to be appreciated, it feels good. You can be the most humble person in the world (that I am NOT) and it'll still feel good when you get appreciated.

After the initial wave of warm fuzzy feelings, I tried to figure out exactly what I was being appreciated for. The constant sweat stains I leave on everything I touch at that gym? My improper usage of the equipment? The musky smell I most probably leave every single time I walk out of there?

Excuse me while I bring my self esteem back up to an extremely high level.

My name is Buttug McOysty and I am totally aawesome.

Ahem.

I quickly brushed those thoughts aside, and proceeded to getting appreciated. I entered myself in a raffle for water-bottles and other assorted items, then helped myself to free food.

And that's when the appreciation stopped.

They were giving out tiny cups of what I believe to be "Trail Mix", and can only be described as nuts and berries. And it tasted like...nothing. I work out, so that I can continue eating the delicious filth I like to eat. Word to McDonalds. Not because I want to eat TRAIL MIX. That's something I could see myself feeding to a horse. Or throwing into a garbage bin with my basketball type skills.

Or throwing at unsuspecting children.

I'm now a few hours removed from the situation, and am completely over it, and over being the schmuck who complains about how he was under-appreciated while being appreciated. Because, despite the trail mix fiasco, I still appreciated their efforts in appreciating me. Kapeesh?

In today's edition of Stupefying Stupidity, err, Stupefying Stupidity, it has been brought to my attention by one Campbell's Chunky Beef Stew* (she's not Chunky, it's just how the soup is named) that I have been misspelling MY BLOG'S OWN NAME.

I cannot figure out why more people did not call me out on this crap earlier.

But that has been rectified, and we now proceed forthwith as if I never misspelled anything at all. Besides, I just noticed a built in spell-checker, so it shouldn't happen again. Forgive me please.

Before I draft up another post (about those racist Survivor people!) this just has to be mentioned. The American Air Force Guy wants to test their own weapons against American civilians. Granted, it led to a very clever article title, but let me attempt to walk through this.

He wants to try weapons made to combat enemies on the very people the the weapons were supposed to protect from said enemies.

Somebody needs to give that man an award, to appreciate his confounding logic.

*Hey, look at that! I linked to something other than myself!