Happy Tree Friends! You know, these little fellows and all their friends:

What's that? You've never seen an episode and would like me to recommend one? Try, "Helping Helps". I'm warning you though, as cute as they may appear, and as morally sound the title seems, this stuff is not for the weak-stomached and is rather upsetting. Hide your childrens and stuffed animals. You have been thusly warned.

I'll wait while you watch.

*humming* Where the gangsters boogey? The Gangster Boogey!

And I definitely laughed when, well, you know, I realized what had happened to the poor thing's head. Now before you berate me for being a cold-hearted killer, keep in mind, I had no clue going in. Nobody told me to put away my childrens. It was merely a reaction when you really don't know what else to do.

What you can find horrible is the fact that I continued to laugh even after processing the events.

Now watch this incredible segue...

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Today I received my first professional massage. None of that "housemate walks into your room to snoop on your MSN conversations but tries to hide that fact by giving you a fake massage which is just a shoulder squeeze", I'm talking a person that has her own business card.

Ten minutes later, I painfully found out my back muscles are so knotted (how knotted?), well let me tells you, they are so knotted that they deserve a whole section dedicated to the setup and execution a knot joke.

There were three pieces of rope wandering in the desert. They were very hot and thirsty. They came upon a bar and one went in. He asked for a drink and the bartender said, 'read the sign buddy we don't serve ropes.'

'Oh come on just this once', the rope asked again. The bartender said 'nope', so the rope left. The second rope figured he was a bit better looking and maybe the bartender would soften a little and let him have a drink. He went in and asked for a drink, the bartender shook his head and said 'Hey Buddy, it's just like I told your friend we don't serve ropes here.' Dejected the rope left the bar.

The 3rd rope heard both of their stories, thought for a moment. Then he rolled himself into a knot and fluffed the edges so it was a little frayed. The third rope went into the bar like this and asked for a drink.

The bartender asked, 'Hey are you a rope?' The 3rd rope looked down at himself and said 'Nope, I am a frayed knot!'

The dotted line could not have come any sooner.

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My over/under for number of technical fouls 'Sheed Wallace receives this NBA regular season is set at 50.

My over/under for number of times someone will comment "Your hair is so long!" this weekend is set at 20.

My over/under for number of comments this post will receive is set at 3.

Over, under, over, under, over and out.