Monday, April 16, 2007
Sprinkle Sprinkle
*Preface - Click the Read More link, it's not a trick. That was a one time thing. For really! No, don't mistake my wide grin as being a mischievous smile! I took the time to put a poll down there, so please! Vote early, often, obsessively, courageously, and contagiously.
Welcome to today. The day where your book begins. The rest...
...is still unwritten.
And I, Buttug McOysty, am here to proclaim that the Tim Horton's Vanilla Dip donut reigns supreme in a day and age where cake donuts and cream-filled donuts are heralded as being the innovative taste-bud tinglers. Lost among these imaginative and fancier styles of donuts is the underrated, unappreciated, and seemingly long-forgotten yeast donut. Under that heading you will find delights including the Chocolate Dip, the Honey Dip, and of course the afore-heralded king of donuts, the Vanilla Dip.
Also known as THE SPRINKLES DONUT. Yes. That donut you used to eat as a kid. The same donut you refuse to eat now because you'll be misconstrued as childish. If the concept of having an "inner-child" inside you were real, he or she would be kicking you right now for abandoning the Vanilla Dip donut.
Sure there's nothing wrong with the cake donuts, if you want to feel bloated after, as if you've just ingested 19 grams of fat. But it'd probably make more sense to go grab a slice of cake (free is preferably, but not all of us have brilliant cake hookups - I'm not bitter) if cake is what you have a hankering for.
And in my books, a donut should be required to have a hole in the middle. Sorry, cream-filled "donuts". But think about it, donuts are the one thing I'd be willing to pay for even with a hole cut in the middle. The batted around phrase being "less is more". Which is a total crock. Donuts being the only exception. And taxes. And Simple Plan. They're the asymptote, where zero is actually infinity. Mind blowing. But I digress.
Just take a glance at the low quality picture of the Vanilla "Sprinkly Delicious" Donut. The vibrant colors. The fluffiness. The complexity amidst the simplicity. The fact that yeast donuts are the most nutritious of the three discussed donut stylings, if a donut can even be considered nutritious. The option of picking off individual sprinkles and throwing them at the annoying children of your choice, including and not limited to your annoying inner child. Heck, take a potshot at my inner child if you will.
You'll miss, because much like myself, my inner child is aawesome.
But it shouldn't preclude you from trying. Because it is in the act of you trying, and the subsequent failure of your trial, that my inner child is declared aawesome. You see? You could very well be the means to an end that has already been set out!