1. Do you try to look hot when you go to the grocery store just in case someone recognizes you from your blog?
What kind of 12 year old wrote this meme? No one else could possess the rare combination of delusion and narcissism required to simultaneously believe that not only are people obsessed with you because of your website to the point that they’d want to watch you buy Apple Juice, but that those same people also give a crap if your shoes match your jacket in the process? I love kids.

For the official record, no

2. Are the photos you post Photoshopped or otherwise altered?
Yes, but only to hide my receeding hairlin...oh...nuts.

3. Do you like it when creeps or dorks email you?
Dorks and creeps don't email me. They're too busy being dorks and creeps. Only people cooler than me email me.

4. Do you lie in your blog?
I really do turn into Jack Bauer from time to time. Really.

5. Are you passive-aggressive in your blog?
I volunteer to do a meme like this, I sit here reading retarded questions like this, and I think to myself, "PASSIVE AGRESSIVE? I'll show YOU AGRESSIVE. Is this as good as its gonna get?". MOVING ON.

6. Do you ever threaten to quit writing so people will tell you not to stop?
So this question is basically asking if you blog because you feel needed/important. This is why I blog:
-Because I get bored easily. If I can cure my own (and your boredome) for 5 minutes, then I say job well done.
-It's a cheaper hobby than collecting stamps.
-I obsess about useless things, like how 'digress' is indeed one of the top ten words in the current english language and must be used in every single post.

7. Are you in therapy? If not, should you be? If so, is it helping?
No, no, and yes. TRY TO FIGURE THAT OUT.

8. Do you delete mean comments? Do you fake nice ones?
You know what, I don't get enough comments to warrant deleting any. And plus, the only mean comments I get are from my housemates, who feel inferior to me (yeah, okay, bring on the mean comments now). I never fake nice ones. I'm never nice.

9. If your readers knew you in person, would they like you more or like you less?
MUCH LESS. Observe if you will.
Reader:So nice to meet you buttug, long time reader, first time meeter!
Me:...
Reader:...So what you been up to?
Me:School, and, TV, and other stuff.
Reader:Aw cool! What do ya watch? Sports? Bachelorette?
Me:
Reader:You weren't kidding about being boring in person. I think I'm gonna go ahead and punch you in the face out of sheer frustration now. Boring jerk.

10. Do you have a job?
*zzz...awakes...slightly startled*
Oh I'm sorry, fell asleep doing my own meme. Super. If you're still awake, then you're a trooper, and the cheque is in the mail.

And yes, my job is to valiantly defend myself from random attacks planned by my housemates. It's one of those 24/7 type jobs.

11. If someone offered you a decent salary to blog full-time without restrictions, would you do it?
How fast can you say "I'm so there"? Now, how fast can you say it 200 million times?

12. Which blogger do you want to meet in real life?
Katie Holmes. Assuming she has a blog.

13. Do you usually act like you have more money or less money than you really have?
Finally. A thinking question. I can't answer it though, because I can't keep track of my own financial records, so I have no clue how much money I have. I honestly tried at the beginning of the year, but by day 5, it was a lost cause.

14. Does your family read your blog?
I'm sure they're scouring the internet for it. And when it happens, you'll know. Cuz my posts will suddenly turn into things like "Wow, today I got bored and sat at home doing homework, and reading textbooks!" or "Then after 8:00am service at Bethel, I went to 9:30am service at KCAC! So wholesome."

15. How old is your blog?
Archives date back almost two years, so using my mental math, I'd guess... two years. Oh suck! I did a birthday post earlier this year and forgot about my blog. I sure hope the blog doesn't hate me, or gives me the cold shoulder, or decides to delete this very long-winded post. Please blog, I'll make up for it next year by making a special birthday banner, or putting annoying birthday music on the blog.

16. Do you get more than 1000 page views per day? Do you care?
Don't know, Don't care.

17. Do you have another secret blog in which you write about being depressed, slutty, or a liar?
Wait, let me re-read this question. Harharhar. A slutty blog. That's just too much.

18. Have you ever given another blogger money for his/her writing?
"Dude! That post about Apple Cinnamon Cheerios was AWESOME! It does taste just like Cheerios, with apple cinnamon! Good call! Damn! Here’s five bucks."

(Does that seem like a rational chain of events to anyone? Who comes up with this material?)

19. Do you report the money you earn from your blog on your taxes?
Under the "miscellanious earnings" section, I put ZERO. Cuz this stuff just doesn't pay.

20. Is blogging narcissistic?
Only if you're a narcissist. For everyone else, it's just "writing".

21. Do you like John Mayer?
The fact that I've downloaded the episode of Chappelle Show featuring John Mayer on ALL my different computers, while having most of his albums, and fanning myself while listening to his music does seem to indicate a certain man-crush.

22. Why bother?
WHY DID I!? WHY!