Pre-Post
The telephone every employee has at their workstation at my new workplace, which shall remain nameless for now for my protection's sake*, is more technologically advanced than anything I have in my house, including my non-existant time machine. Apparantly, I never even have to lay my eyes/hands ONCE on that phone for me to be able to forward any call to anywhere in the world. Oh, also I can take that phone home, plug it in, and still receive calls. And plus, I can check all my messages over email.

I plan to use the "hold" button a lot. Not because I plan on getting a lot of calls, because well lets be honest, I'm not that popular. But I will use the hold button because as someone today said, it is fun to test people's patience from time to time.

Maybe that's why no one will call.

Actual Post
Today during full-day orientation, which entailed me sitting in a uncomfortably chilled room and being talked to for 8 hours, I was so bored that I rolled up the rim to win on my Tim Horton's coffee cup. This cup:

Yeah, I know. Not a contest cup. But you know what? It STILL told me to "Please Play Again, Loser."**

I could swear that one of the dudes talking in the afternoon fell asleep to the sound of his own voice. Then he was awakened by the po po that came to arrest him for murder-one-and-a-half.

Define: Murder-one-and-a-half - Boring someone to DEATH.

The only thing I remember from orientation was that this company I now work for is very careful with their logo. They don't want this just plastered anywhere without their permission.

I don't have permission. I hope I don't get fired. Really sir, it's my first day. I'm not even lying.

Post Post
I don't understand "Interest Interviews". The interview you have with the person whose position you're interested in holding in the future. Why would the person whose job you want to steal give you any straight answers?

If they hated the job they'd hype*** it up just for you, so that you'd be more than eager to take it over and they could be free of it forever. Or, if they loved the job, they'd lie to you and tell you how bad it is. And then stab you in the back after the polite handshake that ends the interview. You know, because being the ambitious go-getter you are, you'd probably still go after the job and they just can't let that happen.

The Trailing Off
*You'll see why later on in the post. Wait, most people don't read these things till after the post, by which point you would have already seen why. Ah bother.
**The cup didn't actually have anything written on it.
***The new music movement, hyphy (well it SORTA sounds like hype so the asterisk stands), I don't like it. I'll probably post about this sometime as it continues to get bigger. Right now all I can do is Laffy Taffy at it.