Exactly how I like my Tuesdays. And Kwan.

Wow, who would've thunk. Good thing they didn't give him a key to whatever jail cell they gonna keep him in forever. That's some incredible foresight there America.

I watch entirely too much television. I do this thing where I keep track of actors and actresses with horrible acting skills, mostly demonstrated by their Zoolander-ish "one look". Past examples include Alias' Jennifer Garner and Michael Vartan, and OC's Ben McKenzie for having that pained expression plastered over their faces regardless of the mood or scene or story or 6 figure salary.

But I have found the queen bee of them all. The look that never fails. 5 star guarantee in fact. Everybody, meet Paris Hilton. Paris, meet everybody.* Hit the Esc button if the rapidly changing Paris pics are giving you a heart-attack.

It always warms my heart to read a good old fashioned rescue story. Because just like everybody else, I dream everynight of how it would be to be rescued by a knightress in shimmering robes.

"Webb and Russell had been getting oxygen, food, water and items such as magazines and iPods through a plastic pipe..."

I applaud the marketing genious that managed to slip a product placement into that feel-good story. Moral of the story, get yourself trapped under some rocks, and come out with a few scratches/bruises and a couple iPods.

Back to unnecessarily long-winded on Wednesday.

*I hear Paris Hilton is probably one of the most searched for phrases on the internet. For reasons I will not discuss. If I see a two-fold increase in blog hits by next week because of search phrases involving "Paris Hilton", then not only will I link back to this post, I will probably mention her name two hundred more billion times, as if I were DJ Clue hollering over a mixtape track.