*This is another installment of Buttugly-lengthed posts. And then some.*

I am not a racist. Granted, I tend to hang out members of my own race, and I do have a preference towards "black" music, aka gangster rap not necessarily with the gangster.

But I'm sending around a memo notifying any non-black (especially white) person(s) writing songs for the Blues genre to cease and desist.

Again, I am not racist, and I have nothing against white musicians (see: my undying love for Kelly Clarkson).

But, correct me if I'm wrong, Blues arose from the angst and low spirits felt by the Black slaves before the Civil War, and most probably the oppression felt after the Civil War.

And I'm going to hazard a guess here, but I think the White Man may have had something to do with all that suppresion of the people consequently followed by that angst.

And this is starting a very disturbing trend for me here. Not necessarily white people crossing over into blues music, but people in general crossing over to different genres where they have no right to be. Don't get me wrong, if you can do it good, then go for it. Do it good, in fact you may probably have to do it better just because you'll stick out like a sore thumb and be under the microscope more than possible cures for cancer.

Except for white people doing blues. Houston called and you will never be cleared for launch.

On a side note here, let me just state for the record that White people can have angst too (see: Simple Plan with their teenage angst).

This is a long post. Feel free to take a breather here. I must go throw up, because I mentioned "Simple Plan".

*One and then the two, two and then the three, three and then the four, then you gotta breathe*

My man Eminem realized that he is possibly one of the greatest lyricists ever so he decided to make it in the rap game, and make it he did. Then you have, to a much lesser extent, Justin Timberlake, who is most definitly down with the black folks, but may not necessarily be the most talented R&B artist ever.

Did you notice where he showed up recently? In Nelly Furtado's "Promiscuous Girl" music video, where he popped in for a grand total of 2 seconds. Seriously, I sat there through that video with a stop watch. And an electric fan, because Nelly Furtado is the hot.

Yeah, I said it, the same girl that brought you such folk hits as "Turn off the Lights" and "I'm like a Bird". One of the cleanest cut musicians I have ever had the good fortune of listening to. But like so many before her, actually, like all before her, the evitable became the inevitable. Following in the footsteps of women like Britney Spears, she sexified herself, and then backed that up with hip-hop beats. It has worked, because she's on every single radio station. And that song is as catchy as the flu.

And because I do the drive-to-work drive-home grind everyday, I listen to my fair share of radio now. Or should I say, I listen to my fair share of Shakira's Hips Telling The Truth as somebody high up in the radio pyramid scheme decided that song should be staggered through every single radio station so that I can hear the song, turn that dial to another station, and after getting about 30 seconds of the end of another song, Shakira invades my car again.

One more thing. I think, and it may be a little early to call this given the trial-in-process, but methinks that R Kelly has won. In fact, he's probably sitting in his private jail cell with a plasma tv and a velvety sofa right now while people are bumping to his song "Gorilla". The whole Trapped In A Closet series, the marriage to Aaliyah, the child pornography and pissin of Jay-Z was still not enough to stop people from YELLING LIKE MONKEY'S.

Seriously, what in the heck does this guy have to do before people finally stop listening to him and his music?! Kill babies? With a pitchfork?! Look he even put them Laffy Taffy guys on the track with him, sending a clear message that "This is merely a track to get back at the people that talked bad about me. I'm going to make them scream like apes and listen to D4-freakin-L" Puh-lease.

In conclusion, White dudes, kindly stick to your country music.
Nelly Furtado is supermodel type hot. Timbaland is a horrible rapper.
Always trust Shakira's hips. Better than trusting her music.
R Kelly needs to be sent far, far, very very far, away.

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What you thought I was done?! Those squiggles up above signify the ending of the FIRST PART of this post. Welcome to part two, where I will keep it relatively shorter and relatively sweeter.

Curly Bridges ladies and gentlemen, let's give him a hand. Kept me entertained even though it felt like my fingers were going to freeze off and that the wind would knock over the old distillery building.

I wish I could have the blues everyday.