Monday, April 30, 2007
It's Been A (Nice) Long Weekend
*Preface - I'm mailing this one in. Consult wikipedia to verify the validity of this post.
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cartoons
*Preface - I don't draw cartoons. I just link to them. Good preface.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
I'm Posting Again
So today I wrote the exam in an "exam hall" complete with a "proctor" and "plenty of people around me". I finished in "40 minutes". "I'm glad it's over".
Friday, April 20, 2007
McOysty Tells It Like It Is
In honor of me being trapped in my home for the weekend while I attempt to cram a textbook into my head, figurative speaking should not be assumed, I will post as you the readership calls for it.
*confused looks abound*
This means that I am going to answer any and all your questions! Throw them up in the comment section, be anonymous if you're chicken like that you wish. Ask about pop culture! Ask about science! Ask about me! Ask for money! No question is off-limits, save for the ones that involve other people. As usual, I reserve the right to do pretty much anything, answer in any which way, and twist and contort a question until it is unrecognizable. Let's see where this goes.
And remember ... together, we can make this world a better place.
"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" - Dante
The woodchuck would chuck three 2x4's, 4 branches, one stump, and only the finest birch bark available before taking a break for chicken wings, because those are tasty.
"Have you ever practiced kissing in the mirror and if you haven't how do you practice kissing?" - Dante
How do you practice something "in" a mirror? I mean, technically, your question should have been phrased "How you ever practiced kissing WITH a mirror...". Am I right or am I right!? Sorry, sorry, it's you who's supposed to be asking the questions, and it's my job to answer. Let me try again.
I haven't and I don't.
"Ginger or MaryAnn?" Mary Ann. I have a thing for brunettes and a dislike of ginger in my food.
"Betty or Wilma?" Betty, because people with repeating letters in their name happen to be more appealing.
"Taste Great or Less Filling?" I don't get it. If you're talking about food, shouldn't it be "Taste Great & Less Filling vs Taste Bad & More Filling?". Regardless, I taste great all the time thank you very much.
"Coke or Pepsi?" Root Beer.
"Mac or PC?" PC, the Mac guy is going to get his in the new Die Hard movie.
"What are your top 50 pet peeves?? pffffftttttt" - sogh
1. Using two question marks to end one setence.
2. The "word" 'pft'.
3. The misspelling of the "word" 'pft'.
4. 'u' instead of 'you'.
5. 'ur' instead of 'your'.
6. 'ur' instead of 'you're'.
7. 'ttul', because clearly it's 'ttYl'.
8. People in your immediate proximiate that insist on letting their legs shake or tap the floor, causing a mini-earthquake for all who happen to be around.
9. HIDDEN BLOGS.
10. Children.
11. An unresolved musical scale.
12. Off-pitch singing.
13. Carpel Tunnel.
14. Dust.
15. Bad breath.
16. Bad odors in general.
17. Excessive talking during television time. It's a fine line.
18. Terrorists.
19. Gossip.
20. Crying children.
21. Paper cuts.
22. Blood.
23. Country music.
24. Dead light-bulbs.
(The next few will be answered assuming you meant that my "pet" would be named "peeves" instead of the colloquialism).
25. Beaver ... Peevers the Beaver, ultimately shortened to Peeves the Beeves.
26. Snake ... on a plane.
27. Parrot .... seriously how cool would it be to have a talking bird named "peeves". Then I could totally "ASK PEEVES"!
28. Giraffe ... I had to look up how to spell this, I forgot there were two f's.
29. Wombat.
(Moving on now).
30. Non-commenting blog readers.
31. Alarm clocks that are not yours, but still wake you up.
32. Having to rush a post when it's dinner time. I'll be back after I'm done.
33. Okay I'm back. Sizzling savory steak, fresh off the grill. It doesn't get better than that.
34. Ahem.
35. Not being home when the UPS guy tries to deliver a package for you, then having to go pick it up yourself.
36. SOGHY DUMPLINGS (take this however you want, subtle shot or not)
37. Not knowing the answer to simple questions.
38. Not being able to fall asleep.
39. Donald Trump.
40. Potentially phenomenal photography ruined by my own stupidity or lack of creativity.
41. People taking pictures of me, then throwing them up on the Internets.
42. Facebook.
43. Faulty doctrine.
44. The exageration of minor issues (Sanjaya on American Idol) vs the ignorance/apathy/desensitization to bigger issues (environment? people dying everyday in Iraq? THE WORLD COMING TO AN END?)
45. Slow drivers that are in my way.
46. Pedestrians that are in my way.
47. BICYCLISTS that are in my way.
48. I'm not doing one of these ridiculous top 50 lists again. If anything, lists should be limited to top ten plus a bonus answer.
49. But I have one more pet peeve. And that's leaving things unfinished...
5
*snicker*
"are you allergic to anything? if so, what are you allergic to?" - sogh
Children.
"have you ever eaten an insect before?" - sogh
I've eaten spider...roll sushi willingly. Bugs tend to crawl into people's mouths while they sleep. Fortunately, I'm not one of those people. I hope.
"which would you prefer to eat: fried, deep fried, boiled, steamed, mircrowaved, frozen, or raw worms?" - sogh
Gummied.
"Who was the last person (outside of your family) that you kissed?"
"Who do you think is the prettiest girl at Queens?"
"Who is hvm?"
"What is sogh's real name?"
Questions about other people in all likelihood, will not be answered in a forum such as this. If you choose to identify yourself though, I may be more willing to speak to you directly about such topics.
"so how long is this free question asking going to last?" - sogh
Well, if you have your ruler handy, if you could measure between here.............and here.....
then add a non-negative, non-zero integer of your choice
times 7
you have your answer.
Or until I have time to throw something substantial and fresh up here besides answering questions.
"have i asked too many questions?" - sogh
No. You have a green light because you'll soon be my complicit partner in crime.
I may have said too much.
But who cares, no one is actually reading this, or they are and still refuse to contribute to this Q&A session.
"why?" - sogh
42.
Yup.
"do you like oysters?" - sogh
Not particularly.
"why aren't you completely answering all the questions?" - sogh
My blog. My Q&A session. My rules.
Plus, I totally protected your identity by dodging a question from before. You should be thankful.
"honestly speaking, do you feel more popular when people comment on your posts?" - sogh
I wouldn't use the term popular. I think it's more of a "satisfactory" feeling, knowing that what I'm throwing up here is actually being acknowledged.
Plus, I've learned that I'll always be as popular as that rock that happens to live in the church parking lot.
*what rock?*
My point exactly.
"Can you spell C-O-P--O-U-T?" - Dante?
C-o-p-p- ... hold on
C-o-o-p- .... dang it
G-o-p- forget it.
No.
"WHY DID I JUST READ ALLLL OF THAT?" - Fafa
Caps lock! You must be mad! Or you must've accidentally held down that key.
Or, happened to glue down the caps lock key while doing arts and crafts.
Sorry, I'm answering the wrong question. It's not everyday I get a question about the questioner's behaviours. Interesting.
You must've read all of that because you:
1. Are fascinated by my writings.
2. You thought there was a massive conspiracy hidden in code somehwere in this post.
3. You were incredibly bored. This is most likely.
"do u know how to cook/bake?" - Fafa
I cook books, so I'll never be an accountant.
I bake under the glare of the sun.
"WHY HAVE YOU NOT COOKED/BAKED FOR ME YET?" - Fafa
Uh, your caps lock is on again.
Regardless, I have not cooked/baked for you yet because the things I make always come out of the oven looking so fresh and clean and tempting that I engulf everything myself.
".... wut does buttug mean...?" - Fafa
Words have very little (if any) intrinsic meaning. The meaning is contained in the beholder. Perceptions are everything.
If you really want the full explanation, stay tuned for a post in ... September, if this blog survives til then. Now that's advanced notice and quality promotion. I was going to explain this in a "blog birthday" post.
"did u know that you have to wait 30seconds between posting comments on this thing?" - Fafa
So you just threw up 5 comments, meaning you spent a good 2 minutes in between just twiddling your thumbs counting it down?! You're hilarious.
"Can you spell C-H-E-A-T-E-R?" - Dante
Stop making me spell things. It's embarassing (oooh, foreshadowing?).
I'm not even going to attempt this one.
"Why change the rules AFTER you publish them?" - Dante
Please refer to the fact that I'm aawesome with two a's.
"and you call US chickens?" - Dante
Sure did! I would call everyone "eggs", but I'm not convinced they came first.
"what's your most embarassing moment" - Sam
Recently - When neither one of my hockey teams made it to the Stanley Cup playoffs. For shame.
Of all time - Well it used to be "when I slid down the slide on my tummy (not tummy first, my feet were still first, but tummy down) and at the end where the slide levels out, my head was rudely introduced to the slide and I cried". But that turned out to be my brother. We consulted video replay for that.
I'd say if you take a look at any of my pictures from about the age of 6 to the age of uh...I'll be generous here, 15, I'd consider all that pretty embarassing. I mean, before my braces, I looked like a chipmunk. Apparently I never stand up straight anymore. Also, whenever I say something, it inevitably ends up coming out jumbled and my point is usually lost, and I sound like a fool. All that adds to "embarassment". But I just choose not to be embarassed. Embarassed is a state of mind.
"can i get a tangible, positive prize if i guess your real name correctly" - Sam
My real name? No. You already know exactly who I am. Now... if you can somehow type out the chinese characters (none of this here's how it's pronounced in English business) on the commenting section, I may change my mind.
"do you have any unique physical characteristics that would be amusing to poke fun at? (ex. o o)" - Sam
ROFL-LOL-OMG-LMAO-BBQ-ATL-CEO
I can't believe you just went there. It's the only reason I'm answering your questions somewhat seriously.
Have you been reading this blog? I make fun of myself on a routine basis.
Besides the aforementioned chipmunk-y, slouch-y dork, I've been known to have a slightly long neck. Hence the pet name "Brontosaurus", shortened to "Bronto".
I also have chicken arms that rival the strength of toothpicks.
My skin is so pasty white, you couldn't pick me out of a lineup of albinos.
Did I mention I'm a dork?
But nothing, absolutely nothing, is as fun to make fun of as 'o o'.
Nothing.
"what is your favourite animal not including humans (homosapiens)?" - sogh
SNAKES (on a plane).
And penguins. Because they waddle.
And pigs. Because bacon is delicious.
Are carebears classified as animals?
"what animal does smurkel remind you of? why?" - sogh
Phonetically, it sounds the closest to turtle. Smurkel. Turtle.
Smurkel. Turtle.
Smurkel! Turtle!
*five more minutes of that*
Image wise, I'd have to go with sonic the hedgehog. Just because I haven't seen him for a minute. And that's the mental image that came to my mind.
"anyways, the only important question that needs to be asked is why haven't u commented on my blog lately?" - Tamiscal
1, 2, 3,...4, 5, ... 6!
You can count!
But it's not the same six.
I still think this is one of my most genius posts to this day.
40 comments! That's more than I've ever received in total! Amazing!
Back to your question. I really have no excuse.
Although "lately" is a relative term and I could debate the time frame of "lately".
"...do you think sogh is angry?" - Sam
Do I THINK sogh is angry? I think that sogh is really funny.
Is she ACTUALLY angry? Very probable.
Okay, look kids, this is getting out of hand. I'm all for bashing each other, but seriously, the glares have to stop. That crosses the line. Let's keep it verbal. No dirty looks denoted by a '*' please. Thanks.
"arent they all Jack Johnson?" - Meenbauchewyan
Uh-huh.
"booooo how come he knows" - sogh
Apparently, Dant..I mean Ro..I mean Meenbau has mastered the art of Google/Facebook searches.
Either way, to prove I have too, Jack Johnson - Bubble Toes, Fortunate Fool, Traffic in the Sky.
Jack Johnson totally reminded me of this. Good times. Classy way to end this Q&A session.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Dear Toronto Raptors' Fanbase,
Would it be too much to ask for those in attendance for the playoff games to institute a complete silence rather than booing when Vince Carter is introduced?
When booed, an athlete will, 9 times out of 10, look to the teammate on his left/right, chuckle a bit, and light-heartedly brush off the ill will.
And I for one, do not want to even give Vince the opportunity to do that. He doesn't even get that.
XOXO
-McOysty
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Do Something
*Preface* - This is serious. Ghandi may have said something similar. But I ripped it off a friend.
Let's all shut our collective traps for a moment, and go BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THIS WORLD.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Sprinkle Sprinkle
*Preface - Click the Read More link, it's not a trick. That was a one time thing. For really! No, don't mistake my wide grin as being a mischievous smile! I took the time to put a poll down there, so please! Vote early, often, obsessively, courageously, and contagiously.
Welcome to today. The day where your book begins. The rest...
...is still unwritten.
And I, Buttug McOysty, am here to proclaim that the Tim Horton's Vanilla Dip donut reigns supreme in a day and age where cake donuts and cream-filled donuts are heralded as being the innovative taste-bud tinglers. Lost among these imaginative and fancier styles of donuts is the underrated, unappreciated, and seemingly long-forgotten yeast donut. Under that heading you will find delights including the Chocolate Dip, the Honey Dip, and of course the afore-heralded king of donuts, the Vanilla Dip.
Also known as THE SPRINKLES DONUT. Yes. That donut you used to eat as a kid. The same donut you refuse to eat now because you'll be misconstrued as childish. If the concept of having an "inner-child" inside you were real, he or she would be kicking you right now for abandoning the Vanilla Dip donut.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Album Review: Feist - The Reminder
I'm so out of my element here. I don't know how to properly review/critique anything that isn't insanely horrible (hi K-Fed!), pop, or hip hop. But in the spirit of constantly making a fool out of myself, I'm going to go ahead with this anyways.
Track Seven - Past in Present
I won't lie. I completely zoned this song out while preparing the poll for track six.
Track Eight - The Limit To Your Love
Feist is being pessimistically realistic.
Track Nine - One Two Three Four
Feist is proving once and for all that she can indeed count two four. I mean, to for. Forget it. This track is right up my alley, mostly because it involves the use of numbers and there's nothing more appealing than numbers (mmmm pi), but also because it sounds delightful, employing the use of some brass instruments!
Track Ten - Brandy Alexander
Feist likes sweet, brandy based, cocktails. Now, I know rappers like to endorse products (Have you seen the ridiculous string of T.I. Chevy commercials? T.I. and Nascar go together like peanut butter and people with peanut allergies. MORBIDLY. How many trucks full of money did they back onto his driveway for him to do agree to this? Two? Ten? I need to know.)
Track Eleven - Intuition
Didn't Jewel already make this song? There's some crowd interaction at the end of this track! She knows how to work an audience! Just like I know how to work a readership!
*crickets*
My mistake.
Track Twelve - Honey Honey
Billy Bee would be so proud of Feist.
Track Thirteen - How My Heart Behaves
Sigh. I don't want this album to end, but like most good things, it must also come to an end. I wonder what happens to be next on my play-list. Let's find out...Amerie! Vastly underrated, but I won't get into that today.
Wrap-Up
If you liked Feist's older offerings, you'll enjoy this. Very interested to see how she delivers in a live-performance venue.
Posted in
Album Review
posted by Buttug McOysty
. 2:40 PM .
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
April Showers Bring...
...students aplenty to read this humble blog of mine. And I'm all the more aawesome for it.
You see, as students across the board collectively decide to procrastinate on studying for their exams, they begin looking for just about anything but textbooks to occupy their time with. And maybe I don't care that I just ended the previous sentence with a preposition, but procrastinating students, look no further.
There's lots to be said, and I intend on saying lots of it. In fact, there's so much to be talked about, if I could quantify how many topics I actually have, and subtopics that stem from those topics, and side-notes that spawn from related ideas, it'd be just like a mini-mall of thoughts. Flea Market. Montgomery. You know it.
In fact, I have so much to get off my chest, you might be here for a while. To counteract any potential hunger that occurs along the way, I'll be serving soup and salad after the ninth paragraph.
Amongst other things, I believe I owe you the readership a preface for my last post, and a summary of the aftermath that is tonight's American Idol elimination show. But what y'all been pining for, begging for, extorting me for, pictures of me, Sir Buttug McOysty, no link because it's a formal title, hugging them trees! It's exclusive! You'll only be able to see it here! And only 3 people have had the privilege of previewing them!
Let's get on with it without any further delay.
Read More...
*snicker snicker*
Monday, April 09, 2007
To Be Frank
Before you read (more haha pun) the post, please play this clip. It's thirty seconds. It's hilarious. And it may offend you.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
*IMPORTANT EDIT* JOHN MADDEN IS MY HERO...REAL LIFE AND FANTASY SPORTS WISE
*DEPRESSED EDIT* ...
*Preface* This could very well be the last professional sports related post for a while. What a horrible preface.
A moment of silence for the Colorado Avalanche.
*moment*
Now, to find a way for them to get some lottery balls in the Oden/Durant sweepstakes.
On a very-much related note, has anyone else noticed how the two aforementioned men and the subsequent tanking efforts to acquire the rights to those men have devastated fantasy basketball teams?
Saturday, April 07, 2007
News Attacks! Get Back! Stay Back!
"Hey Buttug... the comments on your blog are edging out the actual blog on the interesting scale."
*wince*
This is what happens when I, the aawesome, the only, Buttug McOysty, slacks on the posting. Not only does my own commenting section begin to swell up in rebellion, a backlog of stories begging to be commented on starts building up and upon my return to the Internets, I don't even know where to start. But together, we'll get through this. I'll even spare you the dotted lines this time.
Now pay attention. This is a major move right here baby. You better get with it, or get lost. Ya understand?
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Numbers Can Be Easily Manipulated
*Preface* - It's about that time of year again when people procrastinate on exam studying. At least I know I have! As such, I've cooked up something extra lengthy and extra delicious for you to sink your metaphorical teeth into to pass the time. Please don't try to eat your actual computer monitor, I will not be held financially nor psychologically liable for that. I'd say reading this post beats watching the paint dry on your egg white wall, but it probably doesn't. If you can find a wall that currently has paint drying, then you're excused. It's riveting stuff.
An absolutely astonishing 71.2% of my readers (dubbed "The Six", not because there are actually six of you (maybe there are five of you and I simply count myself. TWICE (think about that while I end this complicated and confusing triple nested bracket)) but because I once made a snide remark about the dwindling readership) spend less than 5 seconds on my page at a time.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Live Blogging The March Madness Final
I'm making the executive decision to put this entire post in "Read More" section because only two readers will care enough to read this comedy-laced sports-related but not sports-dominated post. And I'm one of them.