The best part about listening to taped lectures in the comfort of your own dinky room in 311, besides the fact that you can loudly munch on Crispers/Nutri-Grain bars/Bananas while strumming on a guitar and folding your laundry (I need to go do laundry thanks for the reminder), is that after a quick zone-out, you just hit that rewind button and you miss out on nothing at all. Except for the last five minutes because everyone knows daydreaming is a waste of time.

Don't even get me started on the pause button, which is currently depressed* right now while I post. I LOVE THE PAUSE BUTTON. See, now I've started and I thought I told you that I won't stop UGH**.

This is a taste of the life I would have with the Staples Easy Button, which, by the way, you can put down on your "LIST OF THINGS TO GET BUTTUG FOR HIS BIRTHDAY". I know y'all have one of them. Or maybe two.

So you're snoring real loud in the front row of a lecture and the prof is standing right in front of you. No problem. Easy button.

You walk out of the washroom, only to realize you haven't washed your hands and the girl of your dreams asks you to hold her hand while you two promenade down the hallway. EASY button.

You can't seem to beat that Fire Temple in Zelda: Ocarina of Time because you keep running out of bombs because you haven't acquired the bigger bomb bag yet, and it's gotten to the frustration boiling point where the next continue screen you see could cause a family-room wreckage of epic proportions. EASY BUTTON.

You're walking down the street when you accidentally kick a parked car, setting off its alarm. The old lady beside you who can't take sudden loud noises has a heart attack. You would call for an ambulance but you also happen to have a soar throat that day and can't utter a word to save a life (how ironic). E-A-S-Y-B-U-T-T-O-N.

Your name is Kwan Chan and you have an ugly face.*** ... Sorry Kwan, even the Easy Button admits that it can only do so much.

*As in, the button is really really sad. Because I'm ignoring it to write this post.
**I figured I'd cite this as coming from 112's "Only You" just because I thought you'd like to know.
***I'm still mad at him for I don't even know what. Maybe this is just my way of coping with leaving.