*Preface - I haven't really really posted since last week, and I don't foresee myself posting again anytime this week, at least nothing substantial, so you may want to read half of it and come back tomorrow to read the rest. Beggars can't be choosers. So think of this post as two/three in one*****. At least in terms of length. Each post I write up is already assigned a quality rating of infinity. And you can't add infinity to anything. Unless you're Jack Bauer, then you can add infinity to anything. Twice.

I started this post in February, but I only got around to finishing it in March. It's really that long.

I originally planned to preface this post by explaining the gist of the following hypothetical interview, but I figured if you didn't get it, you'd just leave an angry comment and we'd all be happier that way, or at least I'd be. And, I'm not one to delete content from my posts, even if it is a measly preface.

*preface sulks away*

I'm sorry preface, I didn't truly mean you were measly. Honestly! When I tell a joke, only 50% of it is actually true! I only half meant it! Please, come back! I miss you!?

*sad quivering violin background music*

School's almost out and you still haven't found a job. Don't panic just yet, a super-hero that hasn't discovered his power yet (that's the only reason I have yet to be cast on the television show Heroes) is here to help. Here's how a job interview with yours aawesomely, ButtugMcOysty, would hypothetically go. Feel free to model yourself after me, as I totally jacked this off a site that was Digg'd all the way to the top. I'm paying it forward. A lot of Internet Intellectual Property of mine has been jacked recently. Another post, another day, perhaps tomorrow. On an unrelated note, I tend to get marks deducted for not citing properly on scholarly essays. Who'da thunk'd it!

Interviewer: So, McOysty, tell me a little about yourself.

Interviewee: Because they'll roll and they can't fall down the hole. And because manholes are round.

Interviewer: Um, okay, how about your most recent project?

Interviewee: Turn on two switches, wait a while and turn one off. If the bulb is on, it's the one left on. If the bulb is off and warm, it was the one you switched off. Otherwise it's the one you didn't touch.

Interviewer: How big was the team you were on?

Interviewee: You don't bury survivors.

Interviewer: Uh, what was your contribution to the team?

Interviewee: Light both ends of fuse one and one end of fuse two. When fuse one burns out, light the other end of fuse two.

Interviewer: How would you deal with adding a feature to a late project?

Interviewee: A and B cross, A comes back, C and D cross, B comes back, A and B cross.

Interviewer: How would you handle a conflict between coworkers?

Interviewee: They're seven and a half degrees apart.

Interviewer: What programming languages are you most comfortable with?

Interviewee: Sometimes I'm too much of a perfectionist and I expect too much from my teammates.

Interviewer: You're hired.

Since the title of the post does not necessarily constrain this post to be about high-tech brain-teaser interviews, I will now cleverly transition into helping people get ready for med-school interviews. They get asked about current events and opinions on them (from what I hear, I've never actually been interviewed by a medical school, I was too busy saving multiple lives in the OR*).