*Preface - That title just works on many different levels. You'll see.

I caught the inaugural episode of "The Price Is Right: The Drew Carey Take-Over" while waiting for my lunch to materialize.

You better go read that again. I'll finish up an episode of The Simpsons I'm watching as an act of justified procrastination (I'm spacing out the time between finishing a draft of the essay and editing because that's how us professionals do).

*Oh Homer, you is so stupid*

You see, I was waiting for a nice gentleman to make a pita for me, and his store was gracious enough to have cable television and happened to be set on the Price Is Right channel. I look away for a few minutes, and then turn around to a fresh lunch! Poof! Magic (without the Manna) materialization of lunch.

But back to the programming at hand.

Obviously, Drew Carey is not an adequate replacement for Bob Barker. Nobody could fill Bob Barker's shoes. In 47 seconds, Bob Barker eclipsed Drew Carey's entire career. Uh...

*Disclaimer* - Semi-excessive use of a certain profanity that suddenly became acceptable for television shows such as Friends somewhere this side of Y2K. If you have a relatively low tolerance for curse words, then please watch this unrelated video. Then come back here to nod your head pretending to understand the following short (I really need to get back to work) discussion.

Now, I watched one woman win a car, and in another preview, another woman, oh heck you gotta see for yourself:

One weird laugh that comes out of NOWHERE at the 37 second mark huh!?

But seriously now, here's what ought to be done to the show. Due to the downgrade of the host, the prizes should be correspondingly downgraded. I mean, sure, for the first episode, you want to bring out all the big guns. The cars, the big money, the nice vacations, whatever. I get it. I get it more than I get act-utilitarianism and it's potential to create a basis for toleration.

*Sidenote* - My own paper confuses me. This is not looking good. *End Sidenote*

After episode 1 (no phantom menace), all prize announcements should go something like this:

Rod Roddy...errr....moment of silence. May he R.I.P.

Rich Fields: Kevin, you are going to play Hi Lo for a chance to win your very own stainless steel refrigerator 1 and a half inch by one inch MAGNET!

Kevin: *punches Drew Carey in the gut and walks off*

I'd watch every episode. Wouldn't you?