my non-existant secretary was running late today. in fact he, no wait, she (its my story) is still not in. and since i have pretty much finished my work for today (yes, it is about 10:10am), i have decided to sift through my emails myself.

i come across this "rogers celebration announcement", showing me some company accomplishments over the last month or so. here was the first one:
"6000: total number of slices of cake distributed to Campus, CBU, and RBO Call center employees in Ontario, New Brunswick and Newfoundland".

*almost chokes on the clodhopper i'm munching on*

so you're telling me i'm sitting here like a CHUMP eating clodhoppers while rogers was busy giving away cake? and not just giving, SHIPPING IT TO NEWFOUNDLAND? if those newfies deserve cake, i sure as heck deserve cake. where was i at this big cake give-away?!!! and a better question, why is rogers even proud of this? they didnt even try to slip this in the middle of the announcment! right up top! in "you cant miss this" font

cakes for others: 6000
cakes for me : 0

thats alright...i'm okay...so i keep reading. a little further down, i come across:
"30: the number of anniversary birthday cakes sent to the media in each of our coverage areas."

*spits out the water that was used to wash down the clodhopper that almost choked me*

cakes for others: 6030
cakes for me : 0

so now ppl not even working for the company gets cake too? now i'm pissed. but i digress. i have a free bbq courtesy of rogers for me today. so i guess i cant complain right? wrong. they aren't giving out cake. so here's what i'm gonna do. i'm gonna eat my worth in ice cream. but a**** wont you mouth/brain freeze over? good point. i guess u cant have ur cake and eat it too.

speaking of that, have you ever thought to think about that statement? i've tried using it, but everyone just tells me that it doesnt make sense. so i'm gonna break it down for you right now so that it'll be broke.
this statement is trying to get across the point that you cant use something up and have it to enjoy at the same time.
*thinking*
its a good point most of the times, but i'm not convinced this applies to cake.if i'm eating my cake, i'm enjoying it at the same time. i dont need to enjoy it afterwards because i'll be piss full and regretting that i ate that much cake in the first place. and if i'm throwing the cake at somebody's face, the video footage will give me enough amusement to last me a lifetime even after the cake has been demolished due to the cake meeting the face.



i think its safe to say that he's enjoying his cake and eating it too. now if only i had some of that (taking cake away from a baby?...thats a post for another day)