in my great haste yesterday to fit in a half an hour nap before worship practice, i made the mistake of scarfing down half a pizza, fresh from my oven, in about 5 minutes.

the number one food to burn the roof of your mouth with, (good for you if you guessed pizza, good for you) the sizzling cheese that so happens to grace the top of a pizza. now i know.
so i'm sitting here writting up this blog post with my mouth wide open like i'm a panting dog because i have psychologically tricked myself into thinking that having my jaw hanging down like a retard will make my mouth heal faster.

its times like these when i wished somebody had published a "worst case survival guide for burning mouths". instead, some idiot of a writer decided to pen this instead:



sorry, what?! GOLF?
hypothetical scenario number 1:
"ahh! i'm sinking! who filled the bunker with quicksand?!"
hypothetical scenario number 2:
person1 - "idiot! you accidentally hit me a your sandwedge, now i cant feel my leg!"
person2 - "it wasnt an accident"
hypothetical scenario number 3:
while reading the "worst case survival guide to golf" in order to rectify scenario 1 or 2, you get run over by a golf cart going about 5 miles an hour.

thats it. i'll write the friggin book for burning mouths. if anyone else wants a copy, please make your cheques out to A**** Y*. thats A****, with two a's.

edit
okay i dont hate you pizza. a 2 dollar chillatte has numbed the pain party that was happening in my mouth. maybe i can continue to subdue the pain with different products, like "suet goh loi mah chee" (lookin at you dry i mean dre), or "yogurt blended fruit drinks (hook me up ice cream maker girl)

oh upon further research i have discovered that there is a "Surgical Intern Pocket Survival Guide". i'll let you make your judgement on this book.