u know i tried it once, but in my humble opinion, it just wasn't as hype as pot.
i'm just kidding.

i'm talking about coca-cola, and for that matter pepsi as well. i don't like those two drinks. i used to drink them by the bucketload, but for the past few years those two drinks specifically don't sit right with me. they both seem to leave my teeth feeling like i just chewed on sand. it just aint right.

by the way, i hate it when i go to any social gathering where my only options are coke/pepsi. has the consideration for a fellow human being been tossed out the window? for craps sake, please have some sort of juice alternative or something. in fact its plain rude. its comparable to going into grade 6 music class and having to choose between the triangle and hitting two pieces of wood together to create what we so generously call "music".

don't even get me started on lime coke/pepsi. hey geniouses at coke/pepsi, trust me i've tried putting lime (and just about anything else i had at my disposal) to make your horrific drink taste better. nothing has worked. oh wait, putting a hole in the bottom of my cup has bettered my drinking experience. minus the coke/pepsi that gets on my clothes, but hey its better than getting that stuff in my mouth.

you know what?! i'm almost entirely convinced that soft drinks decay/erode your teeth. so when i encountered this sign, i just had to chuckle.



i just had a multi-million dollar idea. the ultimate product placement for the next superhero movie. the villian will be the evil doctor pepper, who has the super power to make your teeth decay exponentially to the point where all you can do is lie in the fetal position and writher in pain. no no...even better... its power is to rip your head off, turn it upside down and then say "SORRY TRY AGAIN".

speaking of horrible ads, this morning as i was riding the subway i looked up and saw "www.freechildren.com". the sign actually said "www.freethechildren.com", i just read it wrong cuz i'm so tired, at which point i exhaled a sigh of relief. turning my head ever so slightly to the right, i see "men for men" on another ad. this time, the sign actually did say "men for men". i quickly inhaled my sigh of relief back in and shuddered.

can the vines please report to the vineyard? pretty please with a cherry, no, strawberry/grape/orange on top of the quadruple chocolate sundae that i am drooling over right now? thanks.