It wasn't that long ago when I first strolled into the office. Somebody asked me "what's your name?", I held my necklace in her face and said "read the chain".
K maybe not, but on hindsight, that's how I should've done it...and I should really invest in a diamond studded chain that has my name on it.

I’m not really sure why ninja star throwing isn’t taught in the public schools. I rarely use trigonometry in real life, but there are many times in a day, when a well placed ninja star would really fit the bill. For example, let’s say your co-worker comes into your office and won’t stop talking about how their dry cleaner usually messes up the crease up in their favorite pair of blue pants. Would you be able to resolve the situation by identifying where a parabola intersects the y-axis? That’s all I’m saying.

The next co-worker that asks me "where are you going to school" is gonna get this response:
"CLOWN COLLEGE, so I'll see you at your kids next birthday party, and NO don't ask me to juggle, that's a third year course, I've only learned how to fold balloons into...swords... and hot dogs."
And then I'll hurl a ninja star in their back as they walk away puzzled.

Follow me now. If purple was the new blue, then yellow the new purple, then green the new yellow, then pink the new green, then red the new pink, and now blue the new red, then haven't we just gone in a FRIGGIN CIRCLE. And more importantly, does this mean that mullets will make a miraculous comeback?

I need a car that has the windshield in the exact curvature of my prescription. My passengers may get headaches, although I'd be going so fast it wouldn't matter, with me trying to make it through all the interesections before the lights turn blue.

Rogers has taught me:
- I can't throw crumpled paper into a garbage can with an opening of 3 inches, placed 10 feet away for my LIFE.
- 4 flights of stairs is always 4 flights of stairs too much on the way up, and 4 flights of pure fun-ness while jumping down.
- Coffee. Good.
- I am Suduko master.
- Companies may SAY they track your internet activity, but they usually don't.
- There are jobs where you get paid to waste company time and resources.
- I hate you 50 cent. And stupid ads (and advertisers). And 7:00am. And Pittsburgh.

And that is all folks. Feel free to come build a dome around my head and stick a telescope up top if you liked my very random observations over the summer.