Destiny's Child. 3 Bootylicious chicks that just might make me Bug-a-Boo. Survivors of the Y2K (can't say the same about other groups formerly known as lfo, b44 etc). Soldiers for the Independant Women Association. Paid a lot of bills-bills-bills with the ridiculous amounts of CD sales. In fact, if I ever got to be as rich as Destiny's Child, I'd buy non-disposable *insert your non-disposable item here*, and throw it away just for kicks. Or I'd have a 4-foot high brick wall around my property. It would serve no purpose other than keeping a short person from being able to conveniently see my lawn. "You will never know what type of grass we have growing in here! Not unless you jump a little bit, at least, or maybe stand on a chair or something. And, yes, causing you that tiny bit of frustration is completely worth the $20,000 cost of construction."

But I digress. I salute you Beyonce's grou..errr Destiny's Child, and the crazy amount of hits you have released.

*raises my cup, then takes a sip of Tim Hortins French Vanilla cappucino*

May I take this time to promote the glorious wonders of Timmy's FV cap. Rich, creamy and smooth all the way down your throat, this drink is worth every penny that I pay.

So you can imagine how dismayed I was to have almost spit out this hot cappucino all over my computer monitor when their new song "Cater 2 U" came on my iPod today. In fact, just because it would've made a better story on my blog, I contemplated spitting FVcap all over my fellow summer student. But because he is not in yet, the blog story must suffer.

The same girls that sang "Independant Woman" and "Survivor", pushing the woman's movement forward then turn around to sing such lyrics as "Let Me Help You Take Off Your Shoes, Untie You Shoestrings". Talk about taking one step forward then a bajillion steps back. And then further on, "Let Me Feed You, Let Me Run Your Bathwater" and finally "I'll Brush Your Hair". At that point, I definitely felt like they made this song for DOGS. You'll BRUSH MY HAIR?! Honestly, who does that! Brush your own hair! Guys don't brush their hair, we comb it! And what is this? Are you making fun of my receeding hair-line?

*I calm down as I realize this song was not directed directly at me*

But that wasn't what made me contemplate burning the face off of the other summer student with my hot drink. I think I remember the distinct moment...right, when Michelle (aka the "OTHER ONE") somehow weaseled her way into a full verse. I don't get it. Being the glorified backup singer she is, oohs and aahs and tra-la-las and doo-wops would've sufficed. Her raspy voice completely ruins the mood of the song. Despite the lyrics, Beyonce and Kelly were catering to my sound buds before you RUINED IT MICHELLE.

Maybe this rumored breakup of Destiny's Child is just a cheap ploy to kick Michelle out of the group. And if it is, I'll be the first to raise my glass and give a toast to the PR geniouses that finally decided enough of Michelle is enough. Good grief. Wait, that doesn't make sense. How can grief be good? At least in the moment, it won't feel good. Stupid Charlie Brown. You'd think that after 200 or so comic strips of him attempting to kick a football that he'd kick the football. But no. And I'm wayyyy off topic again.

To the PR geniouses!

*raises my cup, then takes a sip of Tim Hortins French Vanilla cappucino*

*spits out*

Coffee cold...bad. Doesn't matter, anything I taste now will pale in comparison to how I imagine this green tea nestea will taste (THX GIRLSAM). Now see, hooking me up with green tea nestea is definitely how you get a "shout-out" on a post. Take notes everybody. Free stuff make buttug write your name down in post! It's amazing how this world works. Scratch my back, I'll electronically scratch yours!